The Butt on the What?

So I was telling the rest of the Firepants family about a recent post by The Bloggess about “The Elf on the Shelf”.  I cleaned up the language a bit for the sake of my daughter, Dimples.  I said, “It’s weird.  The same day one of my students told me all about how he had woken up to find out his elf on the shelf had gotten in the pantry and thrown flour all over the kitchen floor, The Bloggess wrote about the same exact phenomenon.  And her reaction was the same as mine. “Who the heck wants to clean that up?  Why would I deliberately mess up my own home in the name of a creepy pixie when I already have a family that does that for me?” (That was my reaction.  Hers was slightly more colorful, but definitely in the same vein.)

Dimples then said, “You should do a post about that, Mom.”

And I said, “Well, that wouldn’t be very original since I just read about it on The Bloggess, and she pretty much said everything I would say – only about 433 times better.”

And Dimples thought for a moment.

“You could have a Wonderbutt on the Shelf,” she suggested.

Now this could never happen.  Because Wonderbutt would break the shelf.

But it did get me thinking.

“You know, I think I could get parents to buy into that,” I said.  “Listen to this, ‘Forget the imp that makes a mess; you need a Butt to ease your stress.  All the old toys you want to throw out?  You don’t need to scream and shout.  Hide the Butt under their bed, and blame his appetite instead.'”

Actually, I just thought of that while I was typing.  What I really said was, “What can we call him?”

And this is what we’ve come up with so far:  Fool on the Stool, Messer on the Dresser, Destroyer in the Foyer, the Devourer in the Shower, the Puppy who Just Wants to Clean it Uppy, Jaws for a Cause (or Jaws for Claus), and the Evil Dog who Eats the Toys of Kids Who Don’t Listen to their Parents.

Personally, the last one is my favorite.

I’m thinking of putting it on Kickstarter.  You know you want to invest…

We're still working on the prototype.  It could be this...

We’re still working on the prototype. It could be this…


…or this.

…or this.


Posted on December 5, 2012, in Children, Dimples, Dogs, Family, Humor, Wonderbutt and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 28 Comments.

  1. There would definitely be a market for something like that. You know, for all the folks like me who refuse to buy an Elf on the Shelf simply because everyone else has one. 🙂

  2. My niece HATES the elf. She had one last year and her kids became completely paranoid. They were terrified of that shitty little spy.

  3. If I had had a daughter I would want her to be just like Dimples!

  4. You know you can get stuffed animals made that look like your dog? I pinned it once because they said they would offer cats next year. You could sew a little red cap on the top and that would be a less destructive Wonderbutt on the Shelf.

    Why the heck would you mess up your home for something like that? That’s absurd!!

  5. Well, you’re in Texas, so it will probably be pretty easy to sell WBs complete with all the licenses.
    I’d probably have to fill out an awful lot of paperwork and pass a psych test to get one in NYC…

  6. Who do I make the check out to? 😉

  7. The eyes absolutely must glow. Then he’ll be as creepy and evil as the elf on the shelf.

    We don’t do the elf here. Santa is part of our celebration, but not a big part. I don’t want Squish’s behavior to revolve around getting stuff because 11 months out of the year, I’d be pretty much screwed.

    • I agree with you about the Santa exaggeration! I just told Dimples there is a webcam in every room, and we are watching her all the time.
      Just kidding, of course.
      The webcams are hidden, and we haven’t told her.
      Just kidding about that, too.
      Or, am I?
      I’m in a weird mood…

  8. You crack me up. I don’t know which name I like best. They’re all great. And I could definitely use one of those. We have some toy cleaning out to do around here.

  9. Ha! The last name is definitely the best! I don’t technically need one (not because my daughter is an angel but because we already have a rabbit who destroys ALL), but I would get one anyway. Maybe he could tame the rabbit.

  10. Your marketing sounds like it’s right on!! Count me in. 🙂
    I love the slogan so far, it’s catchy – has a sort of ring to it…
    Dog on a log?
    Chewer in the sewer?
    This is just starting to sound like toilet humor now. I’ll stop and leave the witty one-liners to you.

  11. He’ll be the new, trendy “it” thing of the season. This can’t miss.

  12. Miranda Gargasz

    Cute as he may be, that bottom pic looks evil. Sadly, I’ve never read The Elf on the Shelf but from what I gather you want WB to look creepy for it, right? I say slap some reindeer antlers on him and market away!

  13. It is so true about the dumb ideas on Pinterest- who wants to clean up the messes?! It’s hard enough remembering to move him. Lance has already seen through Elf on the Shelf, so he really is just for show around our house. 🙂

    • Awww. What about Lainey? Does she still believe? Dimples said one of the 5th graders screeched at lunch the other day because the elf was in her lunch box. I’m not sure if it was a screech of joy or fear.

      • Well he believes in Santa, he just isn’t falling for the whole stuffed elf that moves on its own. I may have one more year with the whole fam believing. That is hilarious about the elf in the lunchbox! But, the book says you aren’t supposed to touch it, so I don’t know about that…

  14. LOL….. Isnt it wonderful having a mischief making dog? Somedays its just too easy to blame it on them and the world just accepts it…. poor Wonderbutt and poor Ginger who is plotting her revenge for the latest blame game.. hehehe

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: