I Might as Well Violate the Law of Italics While I’m At It

So, now that the Pope has officially endorsed my Harry Potter Nativity scene, I feel like I can finally stop walking around with a rosary in my pocket in the hopes of warding off any lightning strikes.

Yes, I am perfectly aware that the above sentence pretty much guarantees that even a rosary can’t protect me now.

But the Pope did admit that things probably didn’t happen the way we’ve been lead to believe for the last thousand years.  No angels singing, no animals gathered around the manger.  No Little Drummer Boy pa-rum-pum-pum-pumming.  So, I think it’s safe to conclude that we don’t know that Hagrid and Dumbledore weren’t standing around during the Holy Parturition (learned a new word today – look at me, using my online thesaurus in a fruitful manner!).  It’s possible.

Speaking of this admittedly unlikely, but not completely impossible, rendition of the epitome of Blessed Events, I committed another Googling sin yesterday, and was surprised (as I always am) by the results.

I don’t know if you do this, too, but I like to Google some of my former blog topics that I think were completely, astoundingly unique – just so I can see my post title at the top of the Google results page.  For some reason, that gives me a sense of satisfaction – knowing that pretty much no one else in the world ever thought about writing about this particular topic.  Of course, that also usually means that no one is particularly interested in that topic, so it doesn’t really increase my blog stats to be number one on the Google search results.  I tend to ignore that depressing fact, though.

So, I Googled “Harry Potter Nativity”, and was predictably gratified to discover that I was still at the top.  But then, I noticed in the image results that the picture from my post was not #1. And then I noticed that there was an actual image of a “Harry Potter Nativity”!  What the heck?  Someone else had this idea?

Now, I’m depressed.

harrypotternativity

This is quite blasphemous. Someone needs to tell the artist that, according to the Pope, there were no animals in the scene.

Unfortunately, despite my Super Duper Holmesian Google Detective skills, I am unable to actually figure out who had this idea.  I’ve narrowed it down to someone on this site:  http://www.craftster.org, but I apparently do not have Super Duper Holmesian Craftster.org Detective skills, because my searches either turn up nothing (Harry Potter Nativity – no results) or too much (Harry Potter – 67 pages of results).

So, I would like to tip my hat to the clever crafter who reduced my ego to ashes (don’t worry; like Fawkes the Phoenix, my ego will rise again), but I will, instead, be spending the rest of my evening Googling “spells to ward off vengeful lighting strikes” and “Cap’n Firepants and Wonderbutt” in doomed-to-fail attempts to avoid an argument with my insurance company over the exact meaning of “acts of God” and to revive my very damaged self-esteem.

 

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Posted on December 12, 2012, in Blogging, Humor, Religion, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 38 Comments.

  1. Haha! Don’t you hate it when your unique idea is ‘stolen’ or preempted!

  2. Nicely written. I live for a good laugh and you did it for today. Good work.

  3. Original ideas are a myth. The HP Nativity is adorable!

  4. I’ve never heard of a HP Nativity… sounds original to me. Haha!

  5. I like to pretend that Google doesn’t exist and just forge ahead with feigned ingorance.

    This is the best “original” pun I ever came up with:

    Two guys are at a cocktail party when an older gentleman enters the room accompanied by a much younger though not especially attractive woman.

    “Who’s that with the geezer?” asks one.

    “That’s his wife,” replies the other.

    “His wife? But I heard she was hot.”

    “She was,” replies the friend, “but she’s really let herself fall apart.”

    “Ahh,” says the first man with a nod. “Atrophy wife.”

    Despite this: (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=atrophy%20wife), it will always be original in my heart.

  6. Did I tell you about the new blog I am starting up called “Cap’n Firepants and Wonderbutt”…? Can’t recall where I picked up the idea…

    • Shockingly, if you just Google “Cap’n Firepants” (without the “Wonderbutt”), you will find that some other people have also found that to be a suitable pseudonym. Apparently they used the same name generator website that I did.

  7. Well, the Pope has a twitter account now. If you get online, maybe you can get him to say hi. That would be great for almost anyone’s ego!

  8. I recently found that that on his new book the Pope makes some corrections to the nativity scene, he says that there was no mule or ox and that the three wise men came from Spain and not East. He was there, he knows better.
    Which means that there are opening to cover the vacancies left by those animals, you probably could come up with some ideas for it, tweet the old man and get him to include them for next year.
    Who knows you end up in the Bible.

  9. It makes me happy that there are such things as Harry Potter nativities. Take heart. That there is another one in the world means that you are a genius in the company of another genius.

  10. A Harry Potter Nativity? That’s awesome!! I’d be tempted to buy one…
    Maybe you should hang on to that rosary, maybe it will help with the whole blasphemy thing. 🙂

  11. And where can I get my own rosary, by the way?

  12. tweet the pope a photo of the h.p. nativity. i think his holydom needs to weigh in.

  13. I’ve been reading your blog for a while now and am blown away by your unbelievably quick wit and creativity!! I can’t believe how creatively you write about seemingly mundane things….I wish I had that talent!!! Anyway, love reading what you write:)

  14. My sketch of Lizzie Borden was at the top of “Lizzie Borden Mugshot” google images for months. But you reminded me to check again and I am no longer on the top eleven pages. However, there is some kind of porn movie on page 1 with a topless Lizzie in daisy dukes holding a bloody axe – “Lizzie Borden’s Revenge.” It is obvious where I went wrong.

  15. “Holy Parturition” – Still laughing! Thank you for forcing me to ream out my sinuses with tea. Owie.

    Google that one, and I’m sure your ego will be suitably revived…

    “Holy Parturition, Batman!” *succumbs to fit of childish giggles*

  16. Lol! I love the Harry Potter nativity! And, who knows, maybe you are right and Hagrid was there. 😉

  17. They probably were there. There is no way to prove that they weren’t!

  18. LOL…… too cute.. I have to say I havent laughed like this in a long time.. 🙂

  19. I have never read any Harry Potter books. It started out I didn’t think I would like it and then I decided to just hold out as the last person on the planet that hadn’t read any of them. Well, somehow Lance has found out about them, so I may be reading one in the near future!

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