Laurels Are Not Very Comfortable to Rest Upon

Well, we are a little over two weeks into the new year, and I have already accomplished my New Year’s Resolution.  Determined to boost my followership from the 5 people at which it had plateaued around July of last year, I resolved to increase my followers to 10.  Woohoo!  I made it.  That means I have close to 11 months now to do absolutely nothing before I have to make my next resolution.

Also, according to some very complicated math and statistics compiled by my 10-year old daughter, this means that I am now “too big to fail”.  That’s right, Government People.  If I go down, so do 10 other Citizens of the World, so you better make sure that doesn’t happen.

It occurred to me that, with the new year and the increase in followers, I should probably amend the Terms of Agreement for This Blog.  And, don’t say you didn’t know there were any.  You should really pay more attention before you click those buttons.

In case you did not bother to read the fine print before you joined my fan club, here is what you committed to with your impetuous mouse click:

“I agree to complete all of the New Year’s Resolutions set forth by Mrs. Cap’n Firepants by the end of 2013, or I shall forfeit all of my assets,  a warehouse of dark chocolate, and an airplane hangar of Diet Coke to the aforementioned spouse of Cap’n Firepants.”

Beginning today, the above Terms of Agreement for This Blog have now been amended to read as follows:

“I agree to never use any phrases in my comments that allude to the titles or lyrics of any song that is related, directly or indirectly, to the musical, Les Miserables.  I also agree to never hire Russell Crowe to ‘sing’ in another movie, and only to hire him to act if Wonderbutt is taken hostage and that is the only way to save him.  In addition, I agree that Donald Trump has horrible hair, and I promise that I will never leak to the New York Times that Mrs. Cap’n Firepants is the true Santa Claus.  I also promise not to leak.  Because that’s gross.”

Whew.  I need a nap.  Having 10 followers is very exhausting.  I’m not sure I can handle all of this pressure.

I hope the government is ready with its bail-out.

If you do not comply with The Terms of Agreement, than I will need to send out my Enforcer, Wonderbutt.

If you do not comply with The Terms of Agreement for This Blog, than I will need to send out my Enforcer, Wonderbutt.


Posted on January 17, 2013, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 36 Comments.

  1. Uh oh…..more fine print for me to deal with………… I wouldn’t want to tick off Wonderbutt 🙂

  2. Doubling your followers in 2 weeks! Impressive!

  3. Those Terms of Agreement seem very fair. I can’t speak for the other nine followers though.

  4. “Too big to fail”. I like it. And if it makes you feel any better, you actually have 11 followers. I’m stalking you via RSS – doesn’t leave a trace… *cue creepy music*

  5. I am your most avid fan!

  6. I would willingly ignore all the rules just so I could meet WB. I cannot believe that you only had 5 followers..your blog is usually so interesting especially when you write about your animals and the antics of WB.
    We don’t hear much about Mrs PIB…is she getting too old for fame and fortune?

    • Mrs. P.I.B. is getting old, and more cranky than ever with Wonderbutt. They get into vicious fights once a day now over absolutely nothing. They just stare at each other across the room and suddenly start going at it.

  7. I too, do not believe you only have 10 followers. You blog is hilarious and I check it constantly. It doesn’t make sense!

  8. I just featured your blog on my own….so watch out for more followers today:)

  9. A little fall of rain could never hurt you now! Look at you go!

  10. Yea! 11 months of no obligations… or something like that. 🙂 I still need to see what everyone is talking about with Russell Crowe singing- although I can only imagine- he isn’t the first, second, third, etc., person to come to mind when you need a singer.

  11. I’d be happy to cut an illicit deal to post some of those lyrics in exchange for some of that govimint cheese.

  12. Haha! This was hilarious and my favorite line by far was “an airplane hangar of Diet Coke” – YES PLEASE!

  13. Well I didn’t read the terms of agreement but I just went off willy nilly clicking, but I can live with them. Ummm the leaking thing though… I have given birth to three children! 🙂

  14. this is awesome. i am hoping i am one of the lucky 10. but, i don’t remember signing anything? story of my life? i do like honey boo boo, though, in a sick way. but i am hoping my complete ignorance of les mis – despite the fact that i actually saw it performed at the magestic years ago (testament to my horrific memory) – will make up for that? 😉

  15. well, i would have been easy to spot. i was with a man – my dad -who was sound asleep and quite probably loudly snoring. my mom and me were enthralled and hubby stayed home *sick* with a mysterious illness that came on that morning and was gone by the time we got home. ;o) i am almost afraid to know how many times our paths might have crossed? did you happen to be at david sedaris this past time at trinity?

  16. okay. that is creepy weird. hubby is a HUGE sedaris fan. me – only moderate. i got him the tickets for his birthday and he was like the scary fan that wants the famous person to like sign their tongue or something. i was *almost* embarrassed to be with him. i swear he was laughing louder than anyone in that crowd. i am now going to think about other places we might have both been.

    • I’m with your hubby. I’m a big, big fan. The Cap’n – not as much. But he came with anyway, and laughed pretty hard.

      Were you at the America’s Got Talent auditions last weekend?

      Yeah. Me neither.

  17. Miranda Gargasz

    I dreamed a dream of Wonderbutt!
    Send in the hound! That adorable face!

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