Laurels Are Not Very Comfortable to Rest Upon
Well, we are a little over two weeks into the new year, and I have already accomplished my New Year’s Resolution. Determined to boost my followership from the 5 people at which it had plateaued around July of last year, I resolved to increase my followers to 10. Woohoo! I made it. That means I have close to 11 months now to do absolutely nothing before I have to make my next resolution.
Also, according to some very complicated math and statistics compiled by my 10-year old daughter, this means that I am now “too big to fail”. That’s right, Government People. If I go down, so do 10 other Citizens of the World, so you better make sure that doesn’t happen.
It occurred to me that, with the new year and the increase in followers, I should probably amend the Terms of Agreement for This Blog. And, don’t say you didn’t know there were any. You should really pay more attention before you click those buttons.
In case you did not bother to read the fine print before you joined my fan club, here is what you committed to with your impetuous mouse click:
“I agree to complete all of the New Year’s Resolutions set forth by Mrs. Cap’n Firepants by the end of 2013, or I shall forfeit all of my assets, a warehouse of dark chocolate, and an airplane hangar of Diet Coke to the aforementioned spouse of Cap’n Firepants.”
Beginning today, the above Terms of Agreement for This Blog have now been amended to read as follows:
“I agree to never use any phrases in my comments that allude to the titles or lyrics of any song that is related, directly or indirectly, to the musical, Les Miserables. I also agree to never hire Russell Crowe to ‘sing’ in another movie, and only to hire him to act if Wonderbutt is taken hostage and that is the only way to save him. In addition, I agree that Donald Trump has horrible hair, and I promise that I will never leak to the New York Times that Mrs. Cap’n Firepants is the true Santa Claus. I also promise not to leak. Because that’s gross.”
Whew. I need a nap. Having 10 followers is very exhausting. I’m not sure I can handle all of this pressure.
I hope the government is ready with its bail-out.