It Turns Out I Had the Right Plot, Just the Wrong James Bond Movie
Posted by whatimeant2say
Well, I’m just not sure exactly how to feel about this latest development in the whole fortune-cookie-threat saga. The day after I posted my very understandably paranoid post, I received this e-mail,
“My guess is:
The real test in life is not
keeping out of the rough, but
getting out after you are in it.
My dad, who has always been a genius with word puzzles, seems to have cracked the less-comminative-than-I-thought cookie code. And that is somewhat disappointing because his guess makes a lot of sense – and does not encompass nearly as much drama as my own solution to my torn fortune. I was kind of liking the whole living-on-the-edge-while-I-wait-for-Goldfinger-to-take-me-hostage-and-demand-ransom-from-my-long-suffering-husband -Cap’n Firepants feeling of suspense. Even though, really, the only part of that which would cause me apprehension would be wondering if Cap’n Firepants would, even for a moment, actually entertain the thought of paying any ransom for my return.
Plus, the obvious allusion to golf in this fortune clearly points to the fact that Fate did screw things up, and I got the fortune meant for my husband (an avid golfer), which means he got my fortune, and neither one of us can remember what that fortune actually said. So, my future is crumpled up at the bottom of some landfill, and my father, who thinks he did me a favor by solving the mystery, has actually plummeted me into a deeper depression because now my whole world is completely upside-down, what with Fate being about as infallible as the soon-to-be-retired Pope and my future buried under a dirty diaper.
But then I thought…
“Hey, how do I know that e-mail was from my dad?” I mean, I never actually watched Goldfinger, but surely any respectable James Bond villain could hack into an e-mail account, right?
Oh, and I just Googled Goldfinger, and GUESS WHAT!!!? (besides the fact that you should never Google anything that includes the word “finger”) Goldfinger. Loved to. Play. Golf.
And I’m back in business.
Posted on February 12, 2013, in Cap'n Firepants, Humor and tagged fortune cookie, Goldfinger, golf, humor, life, random, terrorism, why do I keep referencing James Bond movies when I don't even like them. Bookmark the permalink. 25 Comments.