Mixed Messages I Give My Daughter

Don’t tell my daughter that I said this, but it is entirely possible that our communication difficulties do not stem from the fact that she does not listen well enough, but rather from the fact that I talk too much…

“You can talk to me about anything.”


“No, you can’t watch The Big Bang Theory.”  Because they talk about sex, and then you might want to talk to me about something.


“Yes, you must go to bed at 8:00. It’s important for you to get a good night’s sleep.”


“You better finish that homework; I don’t care if you have to stay up until midnight.”


“You don’t need makeup.  You look beautiful exactly as you are.”


“Would you please stay still for two seconds so I can glop your lashes with mascara?” (It turns out that in synchronized swimming, natural beauty is not quite enough.)


“You should always take your time to do your best on your work.”


“Aren’t you finished, yet?  Why on earth are you taking so long?”


“Do not put personal information on the internet.”


“Do you mind if I blog about your most embarrassing moment?”


“You shouldn’t base your decisions on what other people think.”


“You should be part of this special group because the Principal invited you, and that means she thinks very highly of you.  Plus, she’s my boss.”


“You should follow your passion.”


“Are you kidding?!!  Do you have any idea how much horseback riding lessons cost?”


“I really wish you would be more adventurous and try to eat different foods.”


“I don’t care if she’s one of your friends!  When someone offers you a mysterious white substance from a Ziplock bag at lunch, YOU DO NOT ACCEPT!” (It turned out to be sea salt.)


Posted on March 3, 2013, in Blogging, Children, Dimples, Family, Humor, Parenting, Synchronized Swimming and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 25 Comments.

  1. Great article. You’re correct…Very poignant ! Parents do give mixed messages. And, you made me think… from my observations, and because we raised 2 boys, I decided parents tend to Push their kids, instead of LEADING them… but that’s a subject for another article.

  2. I see nothing wrong here. Keep up the good work. 😉

  3. And the worst part is, everything you’ve said is absolutely right.

    You should get a pair of buttons:
    “Trust me, I’m a teacher” and “Question Authority”
    (Yes, I stole that gag from Robert Fulghum.)

    • I didn’t know that was Robert Fulghum. I feel like I give my students those messages every day even though I try to encourage questioning of questionable authorities, which I obviously am not.

  4. Raising your kids is so much easier after they move out. My daughter will actually listen to me now!

  5. Vampire road trip: We came to visit you! Thank you for having us 🙂

  6. ah..the trials and tribulations of being a mom to a pre-teen daughter! I had three…two being teenagers at the same time. My youngest daughter currently has the same problems..

    At least some things never change….

  7. All those message make perfect sense to me. She should just do it because you said so. ….or not.

  8. i agree. with everything. and i’d like to add: “momma is always right, so just do it.” “we are doing it again because i screwed up the first time.” and also: “don’t believe everything your friends tell you.” “seriously? all of your friends said it was vomit and you picked it up anyway?”

  9. Hey, its just dont do as I do.. do as I say.. er.. right? LOL

  10. I love this! Hilariously true..

  11. Very true … It`s indeed hard to be consistent, but not impossible 🙂

  12. Man I am the queen of mixed messages, or at least that’s what Jason tells me. Dimples will still turn out just fine. 🙂

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