The Only Thing Worse Than the Fine Print is the Allusion to Fine Print that Isn’t Even There
It’s time to start thinking about what I want to do this summer, so I was happy to receive a Groupon e-mail that gave me all sorts of suggestions.
The first offer was to tube down the river. I’ve always wanted to do this, so I clicked on the ad.
I’ve been burned a lot by the “fine print” in ads, so I decided I should read this one carefully. I didn’t want to pay to tube down the river, and then find out that the deal includes everything but the tube and the river.
It seemed pretty straightforward until I got to this part:
I’m good with leaving the glass and styrofoam at home, but I don’t go anywhere without my antimatter.
So I decided to move on to the kayaking Groupon. Kayaking has always seemed like a fun sport I would like to try. But then I read this:
I don’t think I can kayak relaxedly if I am constantly on the lookout for falling helicopter pilots. In fact, now I’m afraid to walk outside, thank you very much.
So, even though I have absolutely no interest in fishing, I clicked on the 4-hour boat tour. I figured that’s the way to go – someone else driving the boat while I just hang out with a rod and reel in my hand pretending I know what I’m doing.
But then I read the following:
I guess I just need to look for some non-aquatic ways to spend my summer.
Flying trapeze lessons sound intriguing. Unless I fall onto a kayaker.
Who knows – maybe I’ll decide to be truly adventurous and take my life into my own hands by signing up for the Online Stock-Trading Course.
You’re right. I’d be better off with the trapeze lessons. At least they promise to provide a net.
Posted on April 21, 2013, in Humor and tagged antimatter, fishing, Groupon, helicopter pilots who fall on your head in the middle of the day, humor, kayak, life, random, trapeze, tubing. Bookmark the permalink. 20 Comments.