Forget Being the Norm. I Would Much Rather Be the Carla. Or the Woody. Maybe Not the Woody…

I was reading the Sunday paper and came across this quote in an article about the recent spate of parenting books written by inept moms, “There wasn’t this acceptance about being this sort of less-than-perfect mother, but all of a sudden it feels like that is becoming the norm, rather than the exception.”  This was spoken by Jill Smokler of scarymommy.com.

Well, that explains what I’ve been doing wrong.  I need to stop talking about what I’m doing wrong, and start talking about what I’m doing right because there are far too many other people who are talking about what they are doing wrong, and they are doing it far better than I am.  The wrong, I mean.  Well, and the talking.

So, from now on I pledge to stand out from the pack and tell you all of the things that I am doing right as a mom.  Starting today.

1.)  My daughter has eaten hamburgers three days in a row.

Why is this right?  Well, I am so glad you asked.  Even though I would think it should be obvious.  It’s right because my daughter has eaten three days in a row.  Duh.  Plus, she loves lettuce and cheese on her hamburger.  So, there you have it – all 10 food groups in one meal.  Three times.  Two more and I will have Food Bingo.

2.)  I bought my daughter a dress for her 5th grade graduation while we were shopping for clothes for me on Mother’s Day.

Why is this right?  This is another no-brainer.  We made one trip to the mall, and now I don’t have to make another trip to the mall until August.  Possibly even September if I can find a post on Pinterest on how to transform a yellow lacy dress into a backpack.

3.)  Oh. My. God.  That is the best idea.  Ever.  I am going to quit my job and support my daughter by making Graduation Dress Backpacks.

Why is this right?  Because my daughter will see how important it is to pursue your passion in life instead of saving up for retirement.

And then, she will be happy to support me in my twilight years (although I may have to explain that this is a different kind of “Twilight”) as she pursues her lifelong passion to teach bulldogs synchronized swimming.

And then we will bond even more.

I rock.

Wonderbutt pays close attention to his coach during his first synchro lesson.  To a layperson this may appear unsynchronized, but they are both actually doing the same exact thing - ignoring me.

Wonderbutt pays close attention to his coach during his first synchro lesson. To a layperson this may appear unsynchronized, but they are both actually doing the same exact thing – ignoring me.

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Posted on May 13, 2013, in Children, Family, Humor, Parenting, Relationships, Synchronized Swimming, Wonderbutt and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 25 Comments.

  1. sign me up for a backpack please. i’ve got some bridesmaids dresses you could use.

  2. I want a food bingo, and to make dress backpacks. Maybe. I need a sewing machine first.

  3. Remeber the line from The Incredibles: when everyone’s a super, no one is… your post reminded me of it… if everyone’s a bad mom, then no one’s a bad mom, right?! you just inspired a lighting round post…I’m quoting you, OK?! here goes… 🙂 Alexandra

  4. Being good at being bad or bad at being good is a useful skill. Wait. What?? Shouldn’t WB be wearing his life jacket? Oh, right – somehow that’s you being good at being bad or bad at being good again…. I have a headache.

  5. I vote for this as your best post ever…..and I vote for you as mom of the year.

  6. and, also maybe I could write a post on all the things I am doing right? (could I fit them all into ONE post?)

    • I’m sure that post would be far, far too long for the internet. If you and I both posted that list on the same day, the internet would certainly run out of space in a matter of minutes.

  7. I love it and love you!! Can I have a backpack with my name on?? Can I also join in on the synconised swimming session or is it only for wonderbutts?

  8. My niece said on Mother’s Day that she is a successful mother because her toddler only bashed his head two days in a row, and not three. That is a good standard.

    • Oh yes, I hear that is absolutely the standard when you have a toddler boy. Also, if he only plugs up one nostril with a lego instead of both, you win the prize. You don’t want to know what the prize is, though.

  9. “but they are both actually doing the same exact thing – ignoring me.”
    This one got me laughing the most!
    Doing the norm does not distinguish. Can one make a difference without a distinction?
    It’s good to explore our uniqueness and to maximize our potencials.
    It is beautiful to keep our eyes on children and to allow them enjoy the best.
    Lovely post!

  10. Best mama ever!! Now you just need to get the Cap’n writing about the dad side of things and you have a the Dynamic Duo!

  11. And stand out you did. I had a coughing fit reading this. You should combine the food bingo with the backpack dress.

  12. Just reading your comments – you said you could make “a gross” of backpacks from old bridesmaids dresses! Bahaha! In that context, “a gross” sounds more like a (very appropriate) collective noun than a quantity…

    Love it!

  13. My friend, you might be too cool for awards but I am still passing them to you… why? just because you are too cool!! and you’ve got perfect timing, your blog posts should come with a button for recorded audience laughs, you turn the day’s mishap into a fun post that i hope helps you recharge your battery for the next day… i have no idea where you keep all your awards, hidden somewhere because you are too cool, so please visit my post http://wp.me/p1O652-Rk and pick them up, you can come in through the back door and no one will know you were here, besides all your followers already know YOU ARE FANTABULOUS (quoting one of the awards) and that YOU ARE AN AWESOME BLOSSOM 🙂 so this is just a bureaucratic procedure… big hug and congrats

  14. You had me at graduation day backpack. I’d pin that.

  1. Pingback: THINK…when everyone’s a super… | ACT. REACT. or just THINK about it!

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