Now We Just Need to Save Up for the Water Feature

“So I can get a locker chandelier.”

That was my daughter’s response to, “Why do we need to go there?”

Which was my response to, “Okay, let’s go to the Container Store.”

Which was her response to, “Let’s take care of your school supply list today.”

My daughter, Dimples, is starting middle school.  I was only slightly reassured to see that the middle school supply list is shorter than the elementary one  (and, apparently, Trapper Keepers do not pose the same threat to 6th graders that looms over elementary school students).  The reason for the tempered relief was that I have already been notified by parents of older kids that the middle school supply list means diddly squat.  Dimples’ teachers will give her completely different demands as soon as she hits class, so I will most likely exceed last year’s national defense budget by the end of the first week of school.

I don’t expect any of her teachers will require a locker chandelier (fully equipped with a motion sensor), however.

I used my standard test to see how desperate Dimples was for this item, “You will have to spend your own money, then.”

“Okay,” she replied without hestitation.

So, I begrudgingly made the trek to the Container Store so I could watch my daughter spend her Life Savings on a light fixture for her locker.

Alas, to Dimples’ great consternation, there were no white ones left on the shelf.  According to the helpful salesperson, those always sell out right away.

This concerns me a bit, about the fate of humanity, that it is such a priority to purchase white locker chandeliers each summer.  But not as much as I am bothered by the next statement.

“Oh, look, I can get this rug for my locker, instead!”

The rug, which is plusher than my bath mat, and a lovely hot pink color, is apparently just the thing for the trendy locker floor.

I try to imagine the purpose of a rug in one’s locker.  Will her textbooks be doing yoga as they await their turn in class?  Does her P.E. uniform need a companion with which to exchange fungus and odors?  Is this the reason I did not get asked to the 6th grade dance – because I did not have a plush, pink rug in my locker?

And, even more importantly, will the next purchase be a tiny locker vacuum for the tiny locker rug?

It turned out that Dimples decided the rug did not fit with her vision for the interior design of her locker.  She settled for a moderately priced, hot pink magnetic organizer to dress the space up.

But her disappointment was palpable.

The next day, I was at Target by myself, and I meandered over to the school supply section.  Buried under some packs of college-ruled looseleaf, I found one white locker chandelier.  Of course.  And, it was less than half the price of the one Dimples had planned to obtain.

Should I surprise her with the decor she coveted?  Or should I remain loyal to the voice in my head that declares the ridiculous impracticality of  installing a motion-detecting light fixture in a space only slightly larger than my glove compartment, which she will visit for approximately 5 minutes each day?

I think you know the decision I made.

You know you want one.

You know you want one.


Posted on August 18, 2013, in Children, Dimples, Family, Humor, Interior Decorating, Parenting and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 38 Comments.

  1. Great post…I think that tiny chandelier might look spectacular above my dog’s water bowl…

  2. Good choice, mom. I would have caved, too. I had a mirror for my locker that I was excited about…

  3. I do kind of want one, although I haven’t had a locker in about 40 years. This is why the rest of the world hates us!

  4. Did you get a hero’s welcome when you brought it home?

    I hate that real school supply lists come out after tax-free weekend.

  5. Dimples starts the sixth grade. Whatever will you have to write about? *grin*

  6. I want one only because my district didn’t have lockers. Except for in the one high school that started the whole district. Honestly, all I needed for middle school was a notebook for every two-three classes (not the multiple subject ones, either. I’ve yet to have a class require an entire notebook, even in college) some pencils and pens. Maybe a binder but I found them annoying. A couple teachers got mad at me for using sprial notebooks instead of composition ones but I always just told them tough, this is what I have. Supply lists after elementary school are completely useless. Don’t worry about it.

    • I sensed as much about the supply lists. Dimples is getting nervous because I haven’t bought all of the notebooks, but I told her to be adventurous and risk the wrath of her teachers for being ill-prepared 😉

  7. Because I never personally take my children out to retail establishments if I can avoid it, I have never heard of a locker chandelier. I kind of can’t believe this. My 4th step daughter is entering 8th grade and I find it unfathomable that none of them have asked for this yet. It’s totally cute! Probably there is some law in NJ against them and it’s an automatic expulsion and work release. Here’s my conundrum: they want all this crap for their lockers, yet swear up and down that they won’t wear coats in the winter because the locker is too small for it. Ditto for carrying umbrellas. My response? “Well, you’re old enough to be cold. You’re old enough to get wet.”

    • I RARELY take Dimples to retail stores, either. And she watches Netflix most of the time – so no commercials. I don’t know where she got the locker chandelier idea from, but I think I might just have to keep her from ever talking to her friends again to avoid future situations.

  8. LOL… I have a son in the Junior High and at the High School, this year and they don’t even let the poor kids USE the lockers here…

  9. …and just so you know, I originally had a wonderful… slightly funny comment, written out to post. WordPress kept being a hater though and wouldn’t let me post it… I shortened it twice to no avail…. took out the cuss word… still wouldn’t post. I even momentarily considered that you might have, for some reason, blocked me… LOL I finally refreshed the page and pasted my dumb vanilla comment up there and low and behold… It took.

  10. I have never heard of such a thing!

  11. Wow typist didn’t even get lockers at school – she so missed out on more than she ever realised!!

  12. I didn’t have lockers in middle school either. Every week in eighth grade, someone stole my favorite folder and I’ve have to trudge out to the store for another fancy one. I would have loved a locker chandelier. Who knew they even had them? Wow. But they really are the cutest things. Can’t wait to see her house when she gets one. 😉

  13. I hope you remember this purchase, so the next time Dimples acts up, you can remind her of who it was who braved the school-sale hordes in order for her to have such a finely appointed locker.

  14. ha! I just told bubba to look at the container store sales sheet to see if there was any of the organizers he wanted there and he scoffed and said, “blech. only girl locker stuff in there!”

  15. Locker chandelier. I just… I… I got nothin’. Who thinks of these things?

  16. This is adorable and about the same conversation I have with my little sister when she explains to me the next thing she NEEDS for school.

  1. Pingback: Pens and Pencils May Taste Delicious, But They Do No Good If You Can’t See the Board | whatimeant2say

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