The Etiquette of Social Tedia

“And don’t tell anyone I’m in the bathroom,” I told my ten year old daughter.  This was part of the litany of admonishments about things to not do while she is texting, Facetiming, or (god-forbid) actually answering the ancient phone sitting on our kitchen counter.

“Just tell them I’m busy,” I reminded her.  Even though everyone my age knows that’s a euphemism for “she’s in the bathroom,” I was determined to pass on that specific phrase since I had learned it the hard way when I answered the phone as a child and was a bit too honest about the whereabouts of my own mother.

Not that anyone she speaks to even cares what I am doing.

So, the phone rang yesterday. I was (shocker, I know) cooking, so Dimples ran to answer.

“Hello?”  Pause.  “Hello-o-o?” A bit more insistent this time.

Telemarketer, I thought.

“Speaking,” Dimples said, a bit forcefully.

Why would a telemarketer be calling her?  Or was Dimples just pretending to be me?

She listened for a moment.

Then she hung up.

“Um.  Did they ask for you?” I asked.


“Okay.  Did they ask for me?”

“No.  They didn’t say anything.”

“Then, why did you say, ‘Speaking’?”

“Well, that’s what I always hear you say,” she said, shrugging.

After I stopped laughing, I explained that I only said that when someone asked for me by name – not as some kind of angry rebuke to the person on the other end of the phone for not bothering to respond when I answered.

“This is going on your blog, isn’t it?” she asked, as I continued to smile at the thought of her listening to my end of the conversation all of the years, and assuming I had to deal with stubborn silence every time I answered the phone.

“Only if you say it’s okay,” I grinned.

And she did.


Posted on September 5, 2013, in Children, Dimples, Family, Humor, Parenting and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 16 Comments.

  1. Precious ! Assuming you only got called by silence , she’s golden.

  2. Love the caption. Anything to confound telemarketers. Great piece. Thanks for sharing.

  3. Dimples sounds like one precocious eight-year-old, but in a very good way. I love that you need to get her permission to blog about her.

  4. Dimples, that was seriously magnanimous of you. I doubt I would have been so generous.

  5. “This is going on your blog isn’t it?”……….Sounds like Dimples has your number, Mom!

  6. “Speaking!” Hahahahahaha! I am wiping away a tear. Thank you, thank you Dimples, for that good belly-laugh!

  7. This is good. Now you know she actually does listen to you. *grin* You’ve got a few more years before she hones her selective hearing abilities.

  8. omg. I am crying. i will NEVER say “speaking” again without thinking of this.

  9. That’s hilarious! Kids are so funny. I like that Dimples has the final say, I will have to do that for the kids as they get older.

  10. That’s hilarious. And kind of sad that phone etiquette is not really known anymore. I got a wrong number this morning from someone who spoke Spanish and I decided that the next time I get a wrong number I’m answering in Japanese. Good way to practice anyway.

  11. Ha! That’s brilliant. It’s a good thing you don’t respond to telemarketers with choice curse words. You never know who’s listening. And imitating.

  12. oh, and sorry to be commenting again, but that dog in that hysterical photo looks JUST LOOK bandit. I showed this photo to my family and they died.

  13. Reblogged this on funbilemobile and commented:
    how smart?

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