Working Out with Wonderbutt

You’re not supposed to play tug-of-war with your dog.  Don’t ask me why.  I heard someone say it once – probably the Dog Whisperer.  Or maybe it was a nun.  They tend to give frequent mandates on avoiding any type of fun.

Other than snoring and farting, tug-of-war is the only thing Wonderbutt loves to do for an extended period of time.  Since he needs to lose 1/3 of his body weight just to be considered “slightly rotund,” I feel like the least we can do is let him spend twenty minutes a day on his favorite form of exercise.

Lately, Wonderbutt has begun to confuse my exercise time with his exercise time.  Now, as soon as I am five minutes into doing Tae Bo, Wonderbutt wakes up from a heavy snore, and races into the bedroom, completely ready to exercise too.  His way of communicating that he is eager for action is to try to hump my leg as soon as I fling it out for a Tae Bo side-kick.  When I finally shake him off,  he looks momentarily confused, then leaps onto his rope toy and pitches it into my face just in case I have any doubts as to his intentions.  (Which I kind of do, since he was just trying to hump me.)

Wonderbutt is not a fetch dog.   He wants to be chased, and if you don’t feel like playing that game, then he wants nothing to do with you; he will forlornly drag his rope toy back to his bed, and put his head on his paws, sighing in disappointment at your laziness.  Or,  you can get down on the floor and start growling at him.  Then he is more than happy to prance over to you with his toy, dangling it in your face, leaping backwards every time you reach for the rope, and growling viciously.  So, by now, you’ve broken about 100 Dog Whisperer rules, including putting yourself on the same level as the dog, sticking your face in his, and encouraging him to growl at you.

But the dog is exercising.

For the most part.

The only part of Wonderbutt’s body that never gets fatigued is his jaw.  After about three minutes of tug-of-war, the rest of his body gives out.  Then, he clamps down on that rope for dear life while I drag him throughout the house, which is a bit rough on the carpeting, but works quite well on the concrete floors in the living room.  (I am seriously considering attaching Swiffer Dusters to his sides.)

After being dragged for a couple of minutes, Wonderbutt gets his second wind (after releasing four or five of his own), and leaps back to his feet to resume play.

I started to complain about Wonderbutt regularly interrupting my Tae Bo – until I realized that I couldn’t catch my breath the last time I played tug-of-war with him.

I thought I was doing him a favor, but wouldn’t it be funny if he thinks he’s the one helping me out?

Tug of War

Preparing for his drag technique - completely oblivious to the effects of rug burn

Preparing for his Drag Technique – completely oblivious to the effects of carpet burn

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Posted on September 16, 2013, in Dogs, Family, Humor, Wonderbutt and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 33 Comments.

  1. Nuns. Frequent man-dates. I laughed. He looks ready to blast off in that photo. That also made me laugh.

  2. Oh, if he could see that last shot he would be so mad at you. Definitely not his good side! And hey, I’d take tug-of-war with him over exercise any day.

  3. A lesser person would just snap a leash on WB and take a walk….

  4. I miss having a fetch dog. bandit just likes the rope, too. he brings the rope to your lap and drops it in your lap. I didn’t know that we weren’t supposed to do the rope. we’ve broken so many parenting rules with this one.

  5. sounds like he’s exercising you. 😛

  6. Some dogs are just scalawags. Their faces belie any sense of decorum. WB knows how to play it up. Something is going on behind that gaze. Good luck is figuring out what. Wonderful shots, as usual. Thanks for sharing.

  7. Love the duster idea!!

  8. I loved your comment about the second wind (after releasing four or five of his own) – I’m sitting at my desk giggling 🙂

    Wonderbutt is like the coolest dog EVER! 🙂

  9. You need to set up a treadmill with a cat tied to the end.

  10. I don’t have a dog, but I like dogs. I dislike slobbery dog toys. Every time I visit a friend or relative with a dog, the dog always brings me the most slobbery toy. I am so yucked-out.

  11. Wonderbutt is hilarious.

  12. I wasn’t sure if that was an action shot or Wonderbutt warming up the Thunderbutt!

  13. He looks like he is grinning in the first picture! You are such a talented writer!

  14. Can I just SAY, that I used to do ALL the Tae Bo workouts! My favorite, for obvious reasons, was the 8-minute on-the-go workout. Also, Wonderbutt is just… perfect.

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