But It’s Just the Right Size for Soaking My Feet

I had a choice between spending $50 on a pedicure or a crock pot this weekend.  Guess which one I chose?

If you know me at all, then you probably guessed the pedicure.

But you would be wrong.

I know.  I’m staring at my yucky feet and wondering how I could have possibly made such a ridiculous impulse purchase.

This all comes from being too helpful and having a birthday.

One of the teachers at school needed a bit of technological help, so I came to her aid.  She was beating herself up about her inability to pair her iPad with her computer, so I said, “Well, I’m a horrible cook.”

This gave her the idea of “rewarding” me with 2 slow-cooker recipes that supposedly take absolutely no skill.  And one of them even includes my favorite beverage – Diet Coke.

The problem is that the only slow-cooker we have is a tiny cup-sized one we bought for heating up some special dip for which I’ve long lost the recipe.

I mentioned this to my husband, the long-suffering Cap’n Firepants.  Apparently due to his lack of appropriate nutrients, he cannot  think clearly, and he made the ill-advised suggestion that, “Maybe I should buy you a crock pot for your birthday.”

I informed him that this would be a big mistake.  But I wasn’t sure the message got through.  Kind of like the year I told him 10,000 times that I thought it was dumb to have a T.V. with a built-in DVD player, and he proudly unveiled one for me on my birthday.

So, really, I bought the crock pot to thwart myself from getting thrown in jail for mariticide, resulting in our daughter being brought up by Wonderbutt.

And this is how I ended up with a crock pot sitting in a box on the dining room table and toes that could sharpen a pencil.

I need to stop being so helpful.



Posted on September 22, 2013, in Family, Humor and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 33 Comments.

  1. I’d rather the pedicure also but look at it this way the crock pot will last longer.

  2. Boring! But you are a parent and that’s what parents do. We have been known to if it’s a particularly hard month with lots of bills and we have our anniversary or something, we will say, “lance’s surgery was our present, right?”. Really lame. 😦

  3. hahahaha…this is hilarious.

    And I really need a pedicure

  4. If you’d gotten the pedicure, you would’ve talked yourself out of the crockpot. But now that you have the crockpot you CANNOT talk yourself out of the pedicure. So, yay! Way to get both!

  5. I just made pumpkin butter in my crock pot and I’m canning it this morning. You will be so glad you bought one!

  6. I love my crockpot but I could use a bazillion more recipes for it. A pedicure only lasts for a week or two? I don’t know. I never get them. But I have a crockpot that lasts and lasts! 😉

  7. On the other hand, you could fill a pot with water and beans, and as WB eats, it will magically refill!

    On second thought, WB and beans…Maybe not.

  8. That’s hilarious and it made me realize that i need a crockpot and a pedicure…

  9. Crock pots were invented for those who don’t have time to cook. You’ll love it!
    Have your husband give you a pedi 🙂 its the least he can do in exchange for a home cooked meal!

  10. oh, this is just awesome. I HAVE the teeny tiny crock pot. but, it came INSIDE the giant crock pot. 😉 I also would like the diet coke recipe because I think it’s for bbq, right? and, finally I read the entire post and I still can’t figure out why you got a crock pot and no pedicure??? when it’s your birthday: cover all bases.

    • According to the women in the Teacher’s Lounge, Diet Coke should be added to anything to make the meat more tender. Which makes me concerned once again about what it is doing to my innards. But not enough to give it up…

  11. ALWAYS follow the cooking advice of the Women in the Teacher’s Lounge. ;o)

  12. He was supposed to give you a trip to Western Australia. Please tell him I am very annoyed!

  13. I am utterly shocked that my house is still standing whenever I enter and then leave the kitchen. I have burnt microwave popcorn on numerous occasions, I tend to over-salt food, cook the chicken until I can use it as a bouncing ball, and I have almost set fire to the gas top whilst ‘shallow’ frying chicken for my daughter. And no, I don’t have a fire extinguisher. I’m ok-ish at baking, ok no really I suck, and I end up with most of the ingredients smeared all over myself, instead of in the bowl. I’ve even ended up with ingredients on my ceiling. No, I do not know how they got there.

    I would have gone with the pedicure 😉

    • Yeah, I deeply regret my choice – particularly since the crock pot is still in the box. I should just return it. But that would mean I have to look for the receipt…

      • All of my receipts are stuffed into a little compartment in my car; I think that they have all amalgamated and become one. It’s very scary when I open up that compartment to shove another receipt in… Why don’t you take it back and say that it was a gift, as it technically it was 😉

  14. The crock pot is the shit. Jam a bunch of crap in the there in the morning and come home to a tasty dinner. Don’t forget the bonus that you can now attack your husband with your toes in bed. Google crock pot recipes & you’ll find a ton. Here’s one of my favorites (friend’s blog, I gave her the recipe):


  15. Also, I don’t know that being raised by Wonderbutt would be so bad.

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