Oh, and Watch Out for the Bogeyman Who Lives in Our Shed
“XYZ Pest Control. How may I direct your call?”
“Direct me to the person who just made me leave work and haul a$$ over to my house for no good reason.”
“Sure. Just one moment.”
5 seconds later.
“XYZ Pest Control. I’m the person who just made you leave work and haul a$$ over to your house for no good reason.”
“You said my dog was running around the backyard chasing you.”
“Yes, that’s what I said.”
“I am standing in my house right now. With my dog. In the kitchen. He has a dog door that leads to a pen that is surrounded by chicken wire. The chicken wire is 4 feet tall. Are you saying that my 70 pound bulldog leapt over the chicken wire, chased you around the yard, then leapt back over the chicken wire, and raced back into the kitchen just in time for me to arrive home?”
“That seems unlikely.”
“You’re darn right that’s unlikely. Unless you were carrying around a shoulder of beef. Were you carrying around a shoulder of beef?”
“No, ma’am.”
“Because that would be stupid, you know. Since your job is to get rid of pests, not attract them.”
“Yes, that would be stupid, ma’am.”
“Okay. Now that we agree that you’re not stupid, the only logical conclusion is that you made this story up just so you wouldn’t have to spray our backyard. And you are going to come back here, do your job, and not charge us anything at all, right?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Good. Oh, and by the way, watch out for the snake back there.”
End conversation.
That’s exactly how this whole thing went down.
Except for the part after “How may I direct your call?”
Our vicious guard dog – Wonderbutt
Posted on October 3, 2013, in Annoyances, Dogs, Humor, Wonderbutt and tagged bogeyman, bulldog, humor, pest control, pets, wonderbutt. Bookmark the permalink. 12 Comments.
whatimeant2say 
You are a legend. Can you come and deal with our pest people (who leave the front door open, despite being asked not to, so that curious poodles can go exploring)? You seem so much more authoritative than me in this matter… Maybe I could take lessons?
wow. I am scared of you. oh, and BTW – I can’t wait to see WB’s Halloween costume. ;o)
Wow, sounds like so much fun. I really wish we could just say what we want to say sometimes. Life would be so much more dramatic.
I LOVE imaginary conversations! You are brilliant! Good work, WB. Let’s imagine you’re keeping things safe over there….. Well one!
LOL! I run alternate conversations in my head all the time. I’m so much wittier two hours after a conversation that pissed me off, and not near the person i’m angry with.
Wonderbutt could be a star jumper, you’re just not giving him enough credit 😛
I think WB has super powers that you don’t know about. He just didn’t like the looks of that guy, especially since pest control man had the nerve to come into his yard without any food.
As long as they finish the job….
(You should let WB out, then when they call, remind them that you just went through this and they should grow a pair.)
(heheeh)
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Impressive!
Great blog and he`s a lovely dog. Like the humour.
That is insane that they would lie like that! Lying really makes me mad. It’s so lazy.
I love it! I had a similar problem last night, while trying to pay a credit card bill I was put through to 5 different people, in the end I hung up!