For $3000, You Can Have Your Very Own Bionic Bulldog Who Farts on You

Since his injury, Hopalong Wonderbutt has been sneaking on to the lower pieces of furniture - where he is not allowed.  You can see his reaction here when he is told to get off the couch.

Since his injury, Hopalong Wonderbutt has been sneaking on to the lower pieces of furniture – where he is not allowed. You can see his reaction here when he is told to get off the couch.

It turns out my anti-depressant only works when there is nothing to be depressed about.  Which seems kind of ineffective.  I mean, if your medication isn’t going to help you look on the bright side of things when you find out that your dog probably needs $1500 surgery – TWICE – then, really, what’s the point of taking it?

As I mentioned in the last post, Wonderbutt has been limping.  Cap’n Firepants and I could not agree on which leg was hurt, which was embarrassing to admit to the vet.  We were pretty sure it was a back leg, but the darn dog has two of those.  I was certain he was favoring the left one, and the Cap’n was equally sure it was the right one.  It turned out that I was right.  And I’ve never been so depressed about being correct.  Because the Cap’n was right, too, apparently.  According to the vet, it appears that Wonderbutt tore the ligaments in both of his rear knees.

So, first of all, I didn’t even know that Wonderbutt has knees.  I still can’t find them.  Who’s the stupid idiot who decided to give dogs knees?  Next, you’re going to tell me they have elbows, too.

Secondly, the vet does not know this for sure.  So we must pay $500 to be certain with X-rays that must be done while Wonderbutt is anesthetized.  (Apparently, the vet is doubtful that Wonderbutt will be relaxed enough to get good X-rays done while he is awake.)  Then, we get to fork out the $3000.  Which should be very interesting since we don’t happen to have that in our Swiss bank account right now.

I came home from the vet, and decided that the best way to deal with this information would be to take a nap.

Another astounding revelation – naps at 10:30 in the morning really don’t help to combat the threat of oppressive veterinary bills and a hobbled bulldog.

In the meantime, our daughter, Dimples (who has a “touch” of scoliosis, and needs to go to a specialist so we can get more specific bad news) is alive with the Christmas spirit.  She is cheerfully dancing around the house, decorating, and delighting at placing ornaments in unusual spots for me to find.  Her birthday happens to be in a few days, so nothing is going to dampen her good cheer.

And my mother-in-law called this morning to see when we were going to pick her up for Thanksgiving. Which we did. Yesterday.

We all find our own ways of avoiding reality, I suppose.


Posted on November 29, 2013, in Depression, Dogs, Family, Humor, Wonderbutt and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 24 Comments.

  1. UGH! I am so sorry! I wonder if they could knock the wiggles out of him with some Acepromazine and try to get the x-rays. General anesthesia isn’t something I’d be in a hurry to do with a brachycephalic dog.

    Don’t feel bad about not being sure which leg was hurt. Lameness is one of the hardest things for even vets to determine. There are lengthy articles devoted to this very subject.

    Did he tear ACLs or does he have luxated patellas? The latter you may be able to wait a while on. And it never hurts to get a second opinion. I’m so sorry you’re faced with this right now!

    • Thanks for your sympathy. It truly does mean a lot! The vet said he probably tore his “cranial cruciate ligaments” on each knee. He said it was not an emergency, but needs to be fixed or he will have really bad arthritis.

      • Is there a critical period for getting them fixed, or can you wait awhile? Putting him on a strict diet may take some pressure off the knees and buy you some time.

        I hate this for you. Especially at this time of year!

  2. That really does suck . I don’t know what to say as I’ve never had a dog long enough to go through this.. my mother’s idea of fixing a situation (moving) was to give our dog away to our neighbor without telling me..
    Condolences to Wonderbutt . Probably doesn’t help but the picture sure gave me a good chuckle , little cutie.

  3. That sounds painful – for Wonderbutt, you AND the Captain! Bugger!

  4. I’m sorry to hear of Wonderbutt’s knees and Dimples’s back. My wife also has scoliosis, so I know it’s not pleasant. Luckily Dimples is young and there are several corrective procedures to potentially limit the severity. Just make sure the specialist knows what he’s doing – the one who’d treated my wife stuck her in a back brace for most of her childhood which did nothing for her spine but did an excellent job of weakening her back muscles.

  5. Aww, poor Wonderbutt, but that pose he struck and that face is just awesome!!!! 🙂 Sorry you have to deal with this now but hope he’ll be back to normal soon!!

  6. Well, I guess paying $200 to find out my cat is drama queen wasn’t so bad after all. So sorry Wonderbutt has something so expensive. Poor thing.

  7. Nothing cracked me up in this post till your mother-in-law called. OMG!!! Don’t lose hope. My old dog had a torn ligament in her knee, but the X-Ray showed it was only partially torn, so some steroids and 3 weeks of cage rest later she was fine.

    • She called twice! My husband forgot to wipe the time off her dry-erase board in her room, so she just kept expecting us to come.

      That’s great news about your dog. I will definitely hope that Wonderbutt’s is only partially torn, too.

  8. Apart from laughing my head off at your funnyness, I noticed the mention of Dimples’ scoliosis so if you want an off-blog conversation, email me at
    As for the Wonderbutt – best wishes to him and your bank manager!

  9. I am sorry to hear about Wonderbutt. I learned that animals have knees just the other day and was all, “Whaaaaat???” Yeah, they don’t need them. Well apparently they do. I’m so confused.

    Also, I had a “touch” of scoliosis when I was 10 or 11, then I went to middle school, joined band for 3 years and that straightened out my spine. I actually think I still have a teeny tiny curve but no doctors have been worried about it. Yoga also helps with spine alignment, so that could save you some money.

    • That’s definitely uplifting! I am hoping that Julia’s synchronized swimming, which include yoga for warmups will help. We will see what the specialist thinks. Thanks for your input, though!

  10. 😦 So sorry to hear about Wonderbutt’s and Dimples’ situations. Sending LOTS of love and positive/healing vibes in your direction!

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