Category Archives: Dogs

Pens and Pencils May Taste Delicious, But They Do No Good If You Can’t See the Board

While the rest of us were getting ready for the new school year, it occurred to my daughter, Dimples, that Wonderbutt might do better in his lessons with improved vision.  He hasn’t asked for a locker chandelier, yet, but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time.

Doesn't he look like an intellectual?

Doesn’t he look like an intellectual?

Someone Get a Priest to My House Pronto

I'm not sure if it's my phone or the dog who needs an exorcism, but I should probably do both just to be safe.

I’m not sure if it’s my phone or the dog who needs an exorcism, but I should probably do both just to be safe.

It’s All Fun and Games Until You Figure Out Where Your Butt Just Ended Up…

There’s nothing like trying to get your car loaded and looking up to see a 60 pound bulldog missile headed straight for you.  That is what you get for not making sure the storm door was completely latched.

No one will blame you for leaping 10 feet straight into the air to avoid being “bulled” over.

However, you might be considered culpable for leaving an animal in the car when it’s 540 degrees outside.  And there do not seem to be any legal loopholes for stubborn pets named Wonderbutt who refuse to believe you when you tell them that you have no intention of driving anywhere in the next 20 minutes.  Nor do there seem to be allowances for bullish dogs who will likely give you a hernia if you try to forcibly drag them out of the hot oven they insist on occupying because they have no intention of allowing you to leave them behind to miss all of the fun you surely have when they are cruelly abandoned in the air-conditioned house while you go on your exciting adventures to the grocery store and the gas station.

So, you must sigh, completely rearrange your plans, crank up the a/c in the car, and assign your 10 year old daughter to sit beside the resolute runaway as you quickly finish your preparations, grab your purse, and lock up the house.

Wonderbutt grins at me that he won this round.

Wonderbutt grins at me that he won this round.

And you chauffeur your smug canine to the destination to which you were not so eager to arrive in the first place.

The Boarding Kennel.

I’m Ready for My Close-Up

Wonderbutt Tongue

 

Wonderbutt Sleeping

I Can’t Imagine Why He Hasn’t Lost Any Weight

Think you’re good at doing push-ups?  Try doing them with a barbell in your mouth.

Wonderbutt and BarbellIt’s pretty exhausting.

Wonderbutt Hanging

 

This is Why We Don’t Waste Money on Dog Toys

I’ve been trying to organize some photos, and came across some Wonderbutt pics I thought you guys would enjoy.  Here is Wonderbutt racing around the house with Dimples’ underwear.  It was a good way to teach her not to throw her clothes on the floor…

Wonderbutt and the Underwear

This is How Wonderbutt Negotiates

We have a bulldog.  His name is Wonderbutt.  He listens to public radio, reads and/or eats books, and recently switched to the unlimited texting plan.

Oh, and his farts are noxious.

And he doesn't mean the kind used in American politics either

And he doesn’t mean the kind used in American politics

 

dontmesswithme

 

Why Does THAT End Always Have to Be Near My Face?

I’ve often said that Wonderbutt is a literary dog.  He tends to eat books rather than read them, however.  Lately, though, he has shown great interest in attending my reading sessions in my daughter’s bedroom in the evening.  This started while we were reading the James Herriot book, so I thought he just enjoyed animal stories.  But, we’ve since moved on to an adventurous fantasy novel, and he continues to join us each time.  (When I say, “join”, I mean that he leaps up out of a deep stupor whenever I head toward her room, and races me to the usual spot by the beanbag where he then collapses by my side as soon as I begin to read.)  I would feel honored by his eagerness to participate – if he didn’t start snoring and passing gas in the middle of my orations.

Wonderbuttlistens

 

I’d Rather Have a Blunder of Bulldogs on my Lap Than a Slobber of Saint Bernards

I came across this the other day.

group of pugs

 

So, I tried to find out what a group of Wonderbutts is called.  It seems that there is no such thing.

chair

I know what I could call one Wonderbutt:  a Scorn.  Any ideas for the collective noun for bulldogs?  Here is an amusing collection for your entertainment.  (I already tried “Drool”, and it was taken – for babies.)

It’s Like Driving Miss Daisy – Only 20 Pounds Heavier and With Noxious Fumes

Our bulldog, Wonderbutt, has recently shown great interest in car travel.  I have been driving my daughter back and forth from music camp this week, and he cannot wait to take his place on the front seat for each trip.  In fact, after the first little jaunt, he refused to get out of the car and kept leaping over to the opposite side every time I came around to pull him out.  I wish I had thought to video his behavior.  At one point, he actually tried to push his head into the crease where the seat meets the back, apparently thinking he could hide from me – or that I would be intimidated by the sight of his big butt in my face.  (I must admit, that his butt is kind of formidable.)  I finally had to yell, “Treat!” and run to the front door of the house to convince him to abandon ship.

I’m not exactly sure what the appeal of the automobile is, since it’s 1000 degrees in San Antonio right now, and it takes almost the entire round trip for the car to cool down, but as soon as I grab my purse he runs everyone else in the house over, including me,  in his urgency to get to the front door.  It’s the highlight of his day – twice a day – and I’m a bit concerned about the effect it will have on him when music camp ends on Friday…

wonderbuttdrool

Is that drool, Dude – or are you starting to melt?

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