Blog Archives

In Which I Announce that I am Not Pregnant and I Refuse to Do Porn (Probably)

I apologize.  That was kind of a low blow yesterday, teasing you with a Big Announcement on today’s post.  I think I was feeling a bit desperate when I realized how little I actually had to say.

Here’s the deal.  I have this friend who is training to do his first full marathon.  It’s a goal he has because he’s about to turn thirty.

He’s psyched about accomplishing this.  And I am sure he will.  He is Very Fit.  And I,well, I am,  uh – well, I’m not Unfit (except maybe as a mother). When was the last time you were able to run around the living room 10 times dragging a fifty pound Wonderbutt clenched like a vise onto the squeaky toy you’re holding?  So, I am Somewhat Fit.  But I just have no desire to do a marathon.

And another thing.  How is running a marathon a major achievement when you are a Very Fit P.E. teacher who is TWENTY-NINE?  Let me hear about a SIXTY-NINE year old who sits around playing World of Warcraft all day completing a marathon (the running kind), and I’ll throw a party for him.

So, then, I noticed Blue Speckled Pup has taken on a three day manuscript challenge.  Which sounds just as hard as a friggin’ marathon in my opinion.  Again, I am kind of middling qualified for this – I could do a scrapbook retreat for three days maybe.

I was really beginning to feel left out in all of this Bucket-List-milestone stuff when I got a pamphlet in the mail.   And I am pretty confident no one I know, and probably no one who has read this, can claim the following accomplishment:

Adult Spelling Bee Champion.

Yes, folks, you heard it first here.  I am going to participate in – and win – an Adult Spelling Bee.

One of our local writing organizations is sponsoring one in December.  At least I think it’s the writing organization who is sponsoring it.  It is on their calendar in their pamphlet of Fall courses.

Now that I think about it, I’m hoping it doesn’t have a Strip Club behind it.  I mean, the word “Adult” could imply something completely different than what I initially imagined.

O.K.  I’m having second thoughts.  I think I better find out a few more details before I start my training regimen.  I mean, I don’t think I’d have a problem with spelling pornographic words, but if there is some kind of performing required, I might have to reconsider.

I still have some dignity.  I mean, I’m not a skank or anything.

 

%d bloggers like this: