In Which I Announce that I am Not Pregnant and I Refuse to Do Porn (Probably)
I apologize. That was kind of a low blow yesterday, teasing you with a Big Announcement on today’s post. I think I was feeling a bit desperate when I realized how little I actually had to say.
Here’s the deal. I have this friend who is training to do his first full marathon. It’s a goal he has because he’s about to turn thirty.
He’s psyched about accomplishing this. And I am sure he will. He is Very Fit. And I,well, I am, uh – well, I’m not Unfit (except maybe as a mother). When was the last time you were able to run around the living room 10 times dragging a fifty pound Wonderbutt clenched like a vise onto the squeaky toy you’re holding? So, I am Somewhat Fit. But I just have no desire to do a marathon.
And another thing. How is running a marathon a major achievement when you are a Very Fit P.E. teacher who is TWENTY-NINE? Let me hear about a SIXTY-NINE year old who sits around playing World of Warcraft all day completing a marathon (the running kind), and I’ll throw a party for him.
So, then, I noticed Blue Speckled Pup has taken on a three day manuscript challenge. Which sounds just as hard as a friggin’ marathon in my opinion. Again, I am kind of middling qualified for this – I could do a scrapbook retreat for three days maybe.
I was really beginning to feel left out in all of this Bucket-List-milestone stuff when I got a pamphlet in the mail. And I am pretty confident no one I know, and probably no one who has read this, can claim the following accomplishment:
Adult Spelling Bee Champion.
Yes, folks, you heard it first here. I am going to participate in – and win – an Adult Spelling Bee.
One of our local writing organizations is sponsoring one in December. At least I think it’s the writing organization who is sponsoring it. It is on their calendar in their pamphlet of Fall courses.
Now that I think about it, I’m hoping it doesn’t have a Strip Club behind it. I mean, the word “Adult” could imply something completely different than what I initially imagined.
O.K. I’m having second thoughts. I think I better find out a few more details before I start my training regimen. I mean, I don’t think I’d have a problem with spelling pornographic words, but if there is some kind of performing required, I might have to reconsider.
I still have some dignity. I mean, I’m not a skank or anything.