Oh, and Watch Out for the Bogeyman Who Lives in Our Shed

“XYZ Pest Control.  How may I direct your call?”

“Direct me to the person who just made me leave work and haul a$$ over to my house for no good reason.”

“Sure.  Just one moment.”

5 seconds later.

“XYZ Pest Control.  I’m the person who just made you leave work and haul a$$ over to  your house for no good reason.”

“You said my dog was running around the backyard chasing you.”

“Yes, that’s what I said.”

“I am standing in my house right now.  With my dog.  In the kitchen.  He has a dog door that leads to a pen that is surrounded by chicken wire.  The chicken wire is 4 feet tall.  Are you saying that my 70 pound bulldog leapt over the chicken wire, chased you around the yard, then leapt back over the chicken wire, and raced back into the kitchen just in time for me to arrive home?”

“That seems unlikely.”

“You’re darn right that’s unlikely.  Unless you were carrying around a shoulder of beef.  Were you carrying around a shoulder of beef?”

“No, ma’am.”

“Because that would be stupid, you know.  Since your job is to get rid of pests, not attract them.”

“Yes, that would be stupid, ma’am.”

“Okay.  Now that we agree that you’re not stupid, the only logical conclusion is that you made this story up just so you wouldn’t have to spray our backyard.  And you are going to come back here, do your job, and not charge us anything at all, right?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Good.  Oh, and by the way, watch out for the snake back there.”

End conversation.

That’s exactly how this whole thing went down.

Except for the part after “How may I direct your call?”

Our vicious guard dog – Wonderbutt

 

 

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