I am considering becoming a Jedi Knight.
I’ve checked out the Temple of the Jedi Order, and it appears to reflect most of my religious beliefs. I am a little hesitant, however, in committing myself to a religious order in which none of the council members have last names, and one of them is named War Beauty.
You might ask what inspired me to consider this life-changing decision. I can’t really pinpoint the origin, but I think there may have been several factors.
#1 – The Catholic Church changed some of the wording in the mass. This makes it very hard for me to think about my grocery list while I am mindlessly repeating responses I’ve spoken for 40 years. If I become a Jedi Knight, then I can say some of the cool lines I’ve memorized from the Star Wars movies instead.
#2 – While I was standing against the wall between Stations of the Cross #4 and #5 at the Christmas mass that was apparently attended by every breathing person in San Antonio, I began to question how my spirituality was being enhanced by trying not to faint as I watched a little boy in the last pew practicing his Star Trek Vulcan hand shake.
#3 – I heard a story on the radio claiming that there has been a rise in people listing Jedi Knight as their religion on censuses being taken in other countries. Which means it’s not a trend yet in this country. I LOVE to be a trend-setter.
#4 – The Jedi Creed happens to be a variation of the Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi, who just happens to be my favorite saint. Because he always has animals surrounding him in his statues.
#5 – They apparently have two Corporate addresses – one in the United Kingdom, and one in Texas – the state in which I happen to reside. That can NOT be a coincidence.
#6 – I will not have to be in a mixed marriage because my husband already worships Star Wars.
#7 – It will sound so cool when I run for political office to state in my ads that “I….Am a Jedi Knight.”
I have not applied for membership, yet, as I still have a few questions. My biggest one does not appear to have been answered on the Temple of the Jedi site, so I had to look elsewhere. The results were less than satisfactory. You see, one of the recent changes in the Catholic Church has been to modify the standard response to the statement, “The Lord be with you.” Formerly, the response was, “And also with you” but is now, “And with your spirit.”
I can’t get it right. I either say the old one, very loudly and wrongly, or I say something to do with the Spirit that is far more complicated than the actual response:
“And with the Spirit of St. Louis.”
“Goin’ up to the Spirit in the Sky. That’s where I’m gonna go when I die.”
“We’ve got Spirit. How ‘bout you? We’ve got Spirit, yes we do.”
My brain is apparently not equipped to remember the Vatican’s version.
So, I thought I better check the response to, “May the Force be with you.”
Apparently, this is a point of confusion for the Jedi.
So, I’m putting a hold on my membership until this little detail gets resolved. After all, I don’t want to jump out of the frying pan into the Fires of Hell.