Scary Monsters Give Me the Super Creeps
I have a cold. Or allergies. It’s hard to be certain. Not that you care. Not that I am implying that you are heartless. I just think my health is probably not your top priority at the moment. Particularly since it’s not even my top priority.
My actual top priority is trying to think of something to write today. Because I have been a complete wuss and babying myself with this blasted unplanned, unprioritized, uncertain illness, nothing of note has happened in my life. Usually, when nothing of note occurs, I try to write about unnoted occurrences. Or try to make something happen, like teach Wonderbutt a new trick that is doomed to fail. But I don’t even have the energy to do that. Plus, I’m a little disoriented, what with the medication and the movie I talked Dimples and myself into viewing.
I just watched Labyrinth with my 9 year old daughter, and I feel like I was on a two hour trip. And I’m not talking the Gilligan’s Island kind of trip either. Seriously, what kind of drugs were Frank Oz and Jim Henson on when they agreed to that script? I understand David Bowie jumping wholeheartedly into that project, but the mutant muppets and plotless nightmare of a script made me seriously consider asking Dimples if she just wanted to watch The Sound of Music for the 15 and a halfeth time.
A very young Jennifer Connelly is in Labyrinth, and I found myself wondering what it must be like to be so absolutely stunningly glamorous that even I, a 43-year-old heterosexual woman who is desperately trying to find the remote so she can switch off this horrendous dreck, can’t keep my eyes off of her. Many years have passed since Jennifer Connelly played that role, but I bet she has not once ever worn her pajamas for 24 hours straight and sprawled out on a couch with a gaseous bulldog draped over her legs and a wide-eyed nine year old daughter snuggled into the crook of her arm questioning what the heck does David Bowie have packed into those tight pants? (I was wondering the latter, not my daughter – at least I hope not.) I was also wondering if I had mistakenly taken my medication twice. Or maybe I hadn’t taken it at all and had fallen into a coma.
So, anyway. I have a cold. Or allergies. And I do not recommend the movie Labyrinth.