Posted by whatimeant2say
There is a slight possibility that our bulldog, Wonderbutt, ate a Girl Scout.* So far, no one has reported that there is one missing, but the evidence in Wonderbutt’s Poop Pen is quite damning. Yes, he could have just taken one of the boxes of cookies off of our counter, and devoured half of it outside. But there is no way that fat little dog can reach the center of the counter where the boxes have been sitting. He can’t even get enough altitude to jump onto his favorite armchair at night. It is far more likely that: a persistent Girl Scout came to our door while we weren’t home, rang the doorbell twenty times, decided to make sure we really were not home by checking out the back of our house, climbed over the fence, saw the dog door, and decided to crawl through and deposit ten boxes on our counter along with a big fat bill. Before she could unload her Savannah Smiles onto our counter, Wonderbutt charged her, and gobbled her whole. Still hungry (because she must have been a fairly small Girl Scout to fit through his dog door), Wonderbutt then proceeded to polish off the boxes of cookies that had fallen to the floor, only stopping when he heard us arriving home. Then, he dragged the remains of the box to his Poop Pen to leave as a warning for any other adventurous, yet ill-fated, Girl Scout who might attempt to darken his dog door.
I just hope they don’t make us pay for all the cookies he ate.
*By reading this post, you have committed yourself to be my lawyer, thus ensuring your confidentiality in this matter. Or you can be my therapist; you pick.