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whatimeant2invent #3

A spray on Knox gelatin for synchronized swimming competitors.  That is my next invention.

When we first got our 9 year old daughter involved in synchronized swimming, we had absolutely no idea what we were getting into.  The first time one of the parents mentioned “knoxing” to me, I thought it was her way of hazing the gullible new mom.  Since then, though, I have found she was not making this story up.  Knoxing is only done for shows or competitions – not for practices.  Which meant that Dimples had two months to fall in love with synchronized swimming before she encountered one of its major drawbacks.  And, by then, it was pretty much too late.

Painting Knox gelatin into the hair keeps it in place during performances.  It does not easily wash out in the pool water, and it’s not harsh on the hair (like the petroleum jelly swimmers used in the Ester Williams days).  With some finesse, it washes out with warm water and shampoo (and a bit of elbow grease).

It is not fun to put on, though.  I actually haven’t done it myself, yet.  I’m afraid I will mix the gelatin and water to the wrong consistency, or burn my daughter, or make it look so horribly gloppy that we will have to start over.  And you really don’t have time to start over when you have an hour before a performance.

Fortunately, for novice moms like me, “knoxing stations” are usually set up somewhere around the pool, and experienced knoxers will do the hair of the younger girls.  It takes a village to do my daughter’s hair because I am apparently bad at putting it into a ponytail and bun as well.  The only thing I don’t screw up too badly is taking pictures.  Although that’s happened before, too…

Dimples' coach painting her hair with Knox.

Knoxing almost finished. They put a lighter layer on the bun, which is also held together with a hair net and approximately 10,000 hairpins.

Knoxing complete. See the headpiece? I put that on. It fell off about 5 seconds into warm-ups, as did the ones on the other two girls' heads that I affixed. My ineptitude is glaringly evident in the Syncrho mom department.

The problem with this whole process – actually, one of many problems, is that, if your child is involved in more than one routine, the Knox starts to get a bit clumpy and gloppy.  It eventually begins to wash out – even when I sternly tell it not to – and there is no way anyone is going to go through the whole knowing process more than once in a day.

That is why my Knox hairspray idea is so good.  And, if you couple it with my first whatimeant2invent idea, the hair-growth stopping pill, you could have a complete beauty empire with these two products.  Come on, Mark Cuban, you know you and your Shark Tank rivals would love to jump on this…

whatimeant2invent #1

I am going to start doing something really stupid.  I know it’s stupid, but this action is to replace an even stupider action – which was actually an inaction.

I am an Idea Person.  When I was kid, I used to dream that I would one day operate a tiny store to which people would come to buy my ideas.  They would walk in, and I would say, “What kind of idea do you need – a story, a new product, a type of building?” They would tell me, and then I would pull out my index card file and find an idea for them.

I’ve given up the dream of my little Idea Store, but I still think of new ideas constantly.  Some of them are story ideas, which I reserve for myself.  Some are teaching ideas, which helps a lot to keep my students on their toes.  But some are ideas with which I have no, uh, idea, how to do anything.

I’ve floated a few on Quirky, which is a great concept, but some of them don’t really fit into the Quirky format.

Over the years, I have been constantly bombarded with my own ideas being flung in my face by other people who also had them and actually knew what to do with them.

Recently, I was reading an article on CNN that showcased some of the most recent innovations being worked on.  One of them was a highway that charges your car.

I had this idea years ago.  I know – you don’t believe me.

Which is why I am going to start flinging my ideas out to the web.  In my head or on my iPad they do no one any good.  So, I am going to release them to the world.  If they love me they’ll come back with lots of money.  If they don’t, well, someone else will probably find a way to make some money.

Here is Idea Number One:  A pill that slows hair growth.  (I’m hoping my very wonderful hair stylist is not reading this because I am honestly not trying to put him out of business.)

But, seriously, think about this ladies.  Less hair cuts per year.  And, even more importantly, less hair coloring to cover the grays that grow out.  And, what about shaving/waxing our legs and other unholy parts?  Lots of money is spent on trying to make hair grow, but has anyone actually looked into making it grow slower?

Idea #1 has now been released.  To those of you who want to use it, it would be nice if you gave me some credit, but I’m pretty sure a blog post is not legally binding.  And to those of you who know about a product that already does this, I would be happy  if you put me out of my misery and inform me right away.

Fast Hare. Oops. Wrong kind of hair. photo credit: oldbilluk via photopin cc

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