The voice inside my head is a redneck.
Actually, I think it’s Jeff Foxworthy, who may not really be a redneck even though he likes to define them.
But, let’s get back to that voice.
I know that you are reading this and thinking, “Thank God. There’s someone else out there who hears a voice.”
Yes, I do. But I am not hearing the voice you’re hearing – the one that gets you sent to the mental hospital. It’s that Jiminy Cricket, conscience voice. Not some kind of God-is-ordering-me-to-blow-something-up voice. Just a plain old inner voice trying to guide me in my daily life.
Only it’s never had such a distinct accent. In fact, it’s always kind of sounded just like me. Just more judgmental.
But, a couple of days ago, I noticed a change.
I was contemplating complaining about something out loud when the voice said, “Well you might just want to think about fixin’ it yerself.”
And, I swear, it was Jeff Foxworthy.
Coincidentally, I was downloading free Easter fonts the other day (bear with me – this is relevant), opened my browser, and suddenly was reading everything in “Bunnyhop”.
It’s hard to take CNN seriously in a Bunnyhop font.
I deleted the font, and everything was back to normal.
So, I’m wondering, did I somehow accidentally download Jeff Foxworthy’s voice into my conscience?
I don’t even watch or listen to Jeff Foxworthy.
How did this happen?
I’m pretty sure it has something to do with giving up Diet Coke.