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Wonderbutt Ate the World (Most of It)

Before we get started, I would like to remind you that this is the last day of the WhatIMeant2Say Membership Drive.  Our goal was to get around 5.9 million new subscribers.  So far, we have 2.  I would like to thank jenn at http://insertwitticismshere.wordpress.com and an anonymous subscriber who writes great haikus, but prefers not to be tagged.  (See how sensitive I am to everyone’s needs?)  Your generosity is greatly appreciated!

Also, thanks to all of my 3 current subscribers, including my sister, Crash.  Your loyalty is both admirable and questionable, and somewhat haphazardly appreciated.

In other news, our bulldog, otherwise known as Wonderbutt, has finally achieved his goal of consuming almost the entire planet Earth.  I knew it would happen sometime, but was not expecting it quite this soon.  The problem is, I can’t quite figure out which portion got saved.  If you are reading this, I am assuming you are part of the lucky landmass I rescued.   If you are not reading this, then I am very sorry for not being quite as vigilant as I planned.

I am somewhat geographically and majorly map-amatically challenged.  But I am pretty certain that our planet has currently more than the 2 continents originally included on Wonderbutt’s Orbee ball.

These would be the post-Pangean continents of  Laurasia and Gondwanaland, I am assuming.  I can’t really identify them by their shape.  But the one below is the one I saved after Wonderbutt focused all of his chewing ability on the ball for 20 minutes straight.

Dogwanaland?

The other continent showed no signs of detaching, so I gave the ball back to Wonderbutt and made a mental note to check on him every five minutes.

I forgot.

About 15 minutes later, the other continent was gone.  Due to Wonderbutt’s incontinent chewing.

I won’t go into detail about what happened to that ill-fated section of terra firma…

The Big Red Planet

This particular Orbee ball, which received a 5 out of 5 on its “Chew-o-meter scale” according to the company literature, will, unfortunately, not be the recipient of the P.A.W. (Product Approved by Wonderbutt) award.  Although, I have to say that the planet without continents seems to be quite sturdy.

I’m sure there is a message in that somewhere.

Godzilla is no match for Wonderbutt. As far as I know, Godzilla never actually consumed an entire continent. (I don’t know what the deal is with Wonderbutt’s suddenly corrugated tongue.)

Angels Cross Here

My sister, Crash, texted this picture that was ostensibly taken near Appalachian State University by someone she knows.

Assuming this is an actual sign, and one of us isn’t being bamboozled, what the heck does it mean?

The guess from her friend was, “Watch out for flying, drinking, hula hooping college drunks.”  At first, I thought that was a bit redundant.  I mean, don’t all drunks hula hoop?

My take was, “Angels cross here, so don’t throw boomerangs at their knees by accident.”

Another possibility, “It’s best to walk in erratic 3/4 circles so raptors won’t land on your shoulder.”

Any other ideas?

By the way, my Spring Membership Drive is still going on.  Yesterday, I snagged one more subscription!  Only 5.988888 million or so to go to reach my goal!  I’d be much obliged if you are a new reader and commit to a subscription!

WhatIMeant2Say Spring Membership Drive

As WhatIMeant2Say enters the final three days of our Spring membership drive, your decision to support becomes even more important.  So far this Spring, a Wonderbuttload of readers have subscribed to this blog.  If you are one of them, THANK YOU!  We are currently processing your pledge and will be sending out member cards and thank you gifts within a few weeks composing a rap song to the tune of “Edelweiss” in your honor. 

If you have NOT yet chosen to follow this stupendously humorous blog, please do so during our drive.  Our director, Mrs. Cap’n Firepants, made a pledge to have 6 million subscribers by the end of Spring.  The crazy woman has since been on medical leave, but we are hoping that 5.99 million people will take pity on us for having had to put up with her for 9 months.  

If you would like to sample some of our excellent programming before committing to a subscription, here are some suggestions:  

Your decision is extremely important to the future of WhatIMeant2Say!  You can maintain your commitment to quality radio programming mediocre blogging by clicking on the E-Mail Subscription button on the left margin.  Thank you from all of us at Texas Public Radio WhatIMeant2Say.  We wish you good listening luck on KSTX WhatIMeant2Say!

 

Sincerely,

Wonderbutt Firepants

Acting Director

 

P.S.  If you are a federal, state, city, county, or school district employee and are giving through your workplace giving campaign, please complete the form at https://secure.nameservers.com/~texaspub/pledge.html and under “payment options” click on the government campaign in which you participated you may not want to use your work e-mail address to subscribe to this blog, as the author sometimes makes mildly inappropriate comments and has been known to sing the explicit lyrics to songs.  

We are standing by sitting down now for your calls.  But don’t call.  Just subscribe.  
photo credit: kugel via photo pin cc

 


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