Blog Archives

I Might as Well Violate the Law of Italics While I’m At It

So, now that the Pope has officially endorsed my Harry Potter Nativity scene, I feel like I can finally stop walking around with a rosary in my pocket in the hopes of warding off any lightning strikes.

Yes, I am perfectly aware that the above sentence pretty much guarantees that even a rosary can’t protect me now.

But the Pope did admit that things probably didn’t happen the way we’ve been lead to believe for the last thousand years.  No angels singing, no animals gathered around the manger.  No Little Drummer Boy pa-rum-pum-pum-pumming.  So, I think it’s safe to conclude that we don’t know that Hagrid and Dumbledore weren’t standing around during the Holy Parturition (learned a new word today – look at me, using my online thesaurus in a fruitful manner!).  It’s possible.

Speaking of this admittedly unlikely, but not completely impossible, rendition of the epitome of Blessed Events, I committed another Googling sin yesterday, and was surprised (as I always am) by the results.

I don’t know if you do this, too, but I like to Google some of my former blog topics that I think were completely, astoundingly unique – just so I can see my post title at the top of the Google results page.  For some reason, that gives me a sense of satisfaction – knowing that pretty much no one else in the world ever thought about writing about this particular topic.  Of course, that also usually means that no one is particularly interested in that topic, so it doesn’t really increase my blog stats to be number one on the Google search results.  I tend to ignore that depressing fact, though.

So, I Googled “Harry Potter Nativity”, and was predictably gratified to discover that I was still at the top.  But then, I noticed in the image results that the picture from my post was not #1. And then I noticed that there was an actual image of a “Harry Potter Nativity”!  What the heck?  Someone else had this idea?

Now, I’m depressed.

harrypotternativity

This is quite blasphemous. Someone needs to tell the artist that, according to the Pope, there were no animals in the scene.

Unfortunately, despite my Super Duper Holmesian Google Detective skills, I am unable to actually figure out who had this idea.  I’ve narrowed it down to someone on this site:  http://www.craftster.org, but I apparently do not have Super Duper Holmesian Craftster.org Detective skills, because my searches either turn up nothing (Harry Potter Nativity – no results) or too much (Harry Potter – 67 pages of results).

So, I would like to tip my hat to the clever crafter who reduced my ego to ashes (don’t worry; like Fawkes the Phoenix, my ego will rise again), but I will, instead, be spending the rest of my evening Googling “spells to ward off vengeful lighting strikes” and “Cap’n Firepants and Wonderbutt” in doomed-to-fail attempts to avoid an argument with my insurance company over the exact meaning of “acts of God” and to revive my very damaged self-esteem.

 

Don’t Stand So Close To Me

I am a heathen and a Bad Person.

I mentioned a while ago that I was a bit apprehensive about the upcoming Christmas decorating season.  This will be Wonderbutt’s first Christmas with us, as he came into our household last December 26th.  As a little tyke, he was crated whenever unsupervised, so the tree that was up for the couple of days of overlap last year did not suffer any damage.

However, this year is a different story.  Our family is still debating the appropriate placement of the tree in order to avoid the Wrath of Wonderbutt.  So, unlike most seasons, we did not get all of our decorating done Thanksgiving weekend.

We did break out a few small items in order to start getting into the spirit of things – decorations that could easily be situated far North of Wonderbutt territory.  This light sprinkling of Christmas cheer in odd spots around the house mixed with my apparent disregard for the Reason for the Season probably contributed to MILlie’s confusion the other night.

MILlie, for those of you who just arrived at this party, is an elderly woman who is close to our family.  We were having her over for dinner a few days ago, and she commented, “Oh, I see you got your Nativity scene set up.”

From MILlie’s vantage point, this is what one would see:

As you will no doubt note, this is not a Nativity Scene.  It is our Harry Potter shelf.  Dimples and I are Harry Potter fiends, and we have dedicated this shelf to our collection.  The shelf has been this way since July when we were fortunate enough to visit the Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Florida.

Hagrid, Dumbledore, and Harry - The Three Wise Men

In MILlie’s defense, this is the shelf where we usually set up the Nativity.

In MY defense, MILlie was wearing her OLD pair of glasses, the ones that she “hates”, the ones that are the complete wrong prescription – not one of the two new pairs that I took her to the eye doctor and the eyeglass store to get three separate times in order to get the prescription, fit, and balance exactly, precisely correct.

In MILlie’s defense, it’s Christmas time, and I should have a Nativity scene set up first, above all other decorations.

In MY defense, and I realize that this is not a good defense at all, I am still trying to figure out where I want to put it.  Because of Wonderbutt.  And because I don’t want to disturb the Harry Potter shelf.

I know.  That sounds bad, doesn’t it?  It sounds bad, even to me as I’m typing it, that I am reluctant to remove Hogwarts to replace it with the birthplace of the Baby Jesus.

I suppose it would not be a good compromise to place the stable next to Hogwarts, would it?

I just hope, when the lightning strikes me, that it gives me a cute little scar on my forehead like Harry’s.

%d bloggers like this: