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In Case You’re Wondering What I’ve Been Doing

One of my depression-combatting strategies is to watch hours of sitcoms with my bulldog, Wonderbutt, snoring and farting in my lap.  I’m not really sure if it’s the sitcoms, Wonderbutt, or the inhalation of gases that actually help, but I’ve been too lazy to change any of the variables in the attempt to conduct a scientific investigation.  The most recent sitcom therapy has been “Modern Family” for the sole reason that one of the networks has been running “Modern Family” marathons during the past couple of weeks.  However, they alternate them with “NCIS” marathons, which seem to have the opposite effect on my temperament.  I tell you, this T.V. watching can be a real roller-coaster for the psyche.

The other problem with watching “Modern Family” is that I’m not sure it’s actually improving my mood, so much as altering my personality.  After watching for a few hours, I have a keen desire to go to dinner with the gay brother that I don’t have or to call Claire and challenge her to a battle of the neurotic perfectionists.  Even worse, I start speaking in a thick Colombian accent, saying things like, “Aiii!  After all those years with Peg, who knew Al Bundy could be so sweet and charming?”  I have a tendency to immerse myself in fictional worlds, in case you couldn’t tell.

These issues could be avoided, of course, if someone just decided to make a sitcom out of my own life.  I already mentally explain things to a camera-man half the time, anyway, so putting an actual camera in front of me would not be a stretch.  Then I would could watch my own show for hours with Wonderbutt snoring and farting on my lap, and become myself – which would be a welcome change.

Or I might become Wonderbutt.

Some might say that would be an improvement.

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