Mrs. Cap’n Firepants Trades Nothing for Something and Ends Up Playing for the Philadelphia Phillies
Posted by whatimeant2say
So, first of all, I am totally psyched that The Daily Show returns tonight. My daughter wants to become a teacher because she gets summers off. I said, “No, you need to be Jon Stewart because he gets two weeks off for every holiday, plus the entire summer – in both hemispheres.” Not that I’m bitter or anything. Just suffering from separation anxiety.
“Who’s Jon Stewart?” my daughter asked.
In other news, my anti-depressants seem to be somewhat working, which means my That-Idea-is-Stupid-Filter is working again. Which means it’s very difficult to think of blog topics. The only reason I am typing anything now is because I forgot to take my lunchtime dose, so my filter is being stomped down by the amazingly strong irritation that I begin to feel when things start wearing off.
I always thought people were idiots for refusing to take their medication because they lost their creativity, and now I’m beginning to understand it a bit. I mean, it’s nice to go 12 hours without feeling an overwhelming desire to slit my wrists, but it does seem like I generate a whole lot more writing ideas when I’m miserable.
I don’t see why there has to be a trade-off. I mean, there is such a thing as getting something for nothing, despite what your mother may have told you. I just heard about Mike Cisco being traded to the Los Angeles Angels for no compensation. Nada. (That means “nothing”, right? I mean, I’ve never really checked, but I’m just guessing from the context clues. If it means something else, and it happens to be offensive, I completely apologize.)
So, anyway, the Angels got Cisco for nothing. I don’t see why I can’t get my sanity for nothing. My sanity certainly doesn’t effect as many people as a baseball player, who I admit I never heard of, but whose trade qualifies him for the Yahoo sports page. You’re not going to see my trade on any sports page, so I’m pretty sure that means that I am worth less than Cisco. Ergo, I should get my sanity for less than nothing.
Reading that over, it seems like there might be some fault in that logic, but I can’t really be bothered with such trifling trivialities. It’s almost time for The Daily Show and my bulldog is demanding my presence on our armchair. And if Jon Stewart talks about the Cisco trade, I want all of you to be my witness that I brought it up first. That’s what he gets for going on a two week vacation.
Posted in Blogging, Depression, Dimples, Humor
Tags: Daily Show, health, humor, Jon Stewart, OMG I ACTUALLY WROTE A POST RELATED TO SPORTS!!!!!, sports