Just another normal day in the Wonderbutt household…
I thought the dead rats in our attic were having a race yesterday morning. Wonderbutt and Mrs. P.I.B. looked mildly curious about the racket, but not nearly as concerned as I thought they should be. Then I looked outside, and realized the pattering sound above my head was actually rain. It’s been that long. Mrs. P.I.B. forgot that she is mortally afraid of any type of precipitation and didn’t even start panting. Wonderbutt just looked at me, ignoring the sound and giving me his daily please-don’t-leave-me-to-go-to-that-stupid-job sad face.
The storm was over by the time I had identified it.
Later on in the day, Dimples and I arrived home to a similarly unimpressed dog duo. Wonderbutt showed off his toy of the day, and I briefly greeted him before heading to my closet to kick off my shoes.
“Mom!!!” Frantic shouting from the Dimples, the Drama Queen. Was Wonderbutt attacking her backpack again?
More frantic. “Mom!!!! There’s a snake!”
Now, let’s pause for a moment for a little background info. Dimples is frantic when there is a spider in her tub, a tangle in her hair, or a missing remote control. There are no in-between levels of freaking out in her opinion. Every problem deserves the same amount of yelling at the loudest possible decibel.
So, you might understand why I didn’t immediately comprehend that there was an actual snake in the house. Particularly since Wonderbutt and Mrs. P.I.B. had not bothered to indicate this fact upon our entrance.
I walked back down the hall to clarify the situation. Yep. Snake near the bottom stair. Wonderbutt sitting on the other side of the gate looking somewhat bored about the situation as the snake tried desperately to crawl into the stair riser. Dimples wide-eyed and practically hyperventilating. No sign of Mrs. P.I.B.
Now, I am not a snake expert, but I have handled a few in my life as a teacher. There was no rattle on the tail, and no alarming red or yellow colors. I vaguely thought I remembered that venomous snakes have a certain snout shape, and this one did not look like the menacing kind.
So I told Dimples to open the back door, grabbed the snake behind the head, marched outside, and threw it in the garden.
Dimples gaped. Mrs. P.I.B. reappeared and wagged her tail slightly apologetically, and Wonderbutt presented me with a medal – er, I mean, slobbery toy.
After releasing the snake, I realized that I was going to have some ‘splainin, to do to Cap’n Firepants. If it had been him, he would have hacked the snake to pieces right there, irrespective of the fact that he would be scarring Dimples for life.
So, I Googled the snake. Brown and black mottled snake in Texas.
Hah! A Rat Snake! This would be my defense for being a Snake Saving Pushover.
Because the more rat snakes patrolling our property, the less dead rats dancing around in our attic, right?