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I Thought MoviPrep Was a Type of Buttered Popcorn

Reasons I’m Depressed (Composed Yesterday, Pre-Colonoscopy):

I just took the first four doses out of 8 of my “pre-colonoscopy” treatment.  Apparently my anti-depressant medication was one of the first things to evacuate my “No Fly” zone.

I am hungry.  I have fasted for less than 24 hours, and if I hadn’t just taken half my medicine I would have raided the pantry by now.  As it is, I am not going to do that because I. Never. Want. To. Ingest. That. Evil. Liquid. Again.  Which is what my doctor will make me do if I chicken out this time.

I was told the Evil Liquid would taste better if I refrigerated it.  They lied.  And if you want to know who They are, join the club.  You’ll probably laugh, and then you’ll probably think, hmm – he might have something there.

Please pardon this interruption for a disclaimer from our Sponsor:  A colonoscopy is a procedure that has saved many lives and should never be put off just because this particular blogger is too much of a wuss to take her pre-treatment stuff like a man.

Moving on:

Even though I was one of the first people I know to enter my e-mail for the Pottermore Beta site, apparently the e-mail they returned asking me to confirm (why do I need to confirm when I already sent them my e-mail?  Do they think I am that fickle?) got sent to my Junk mail, and I lost my chance to participate.

As of noon yesterday, I had 6 hits on my blog.  That is the lowest ever, including the day of my first post.  And I don’t think the earthquake in Oklahoma, the stupid time change, or the lack of electricity in the Northeast had anything to do with it.

Our living room floor looks like it’s afflicted with a skin disease.

I know I should not be depressed because there are many people who have worse problems than me.  Which makes me more depressed.  Because I’m that selfish.

Rick Perry.

Just so you know, I’m not trying to get any Sympathy Comments here.  I hate sympathy comments.  And no Sympathy Facebook Likes either.  I can tell.  Don’t ask me how.  It’s a gift.

And now, please excuse me while I go swallow another dose of my Evil Liquid.


The Secret Behind the Job Growth in Texas

It is now legal to noodle in Texas.  I don’t know what you think that is, but I’ve certainly learned some new things since the law went into effect on September 1st.  If you, too, are in need of information on this topic, you can watch this video of noodling in action:

To be honest, I kind of feel sorry for the catfish.  But I guess it isn’t any worse than getting a hook stuck in the roof of your mouth.

Another new law in Texas allows hunters to shoot feral hogs from helicopters.  I could not find a name for this type of hunting.  Although I like the alliteration of “hunting hogs from a helicopter”, that does not conjure up the same imagery that noodling does.

So, hunters now seem to have it made in Texas.  Come on over, y’all, if you like the thrill of a good hunt.

Of course, if you have kids you hope will graduate from high school with a diploma, you might want to try living in one of the 49 other states plus D.C. who ranked higher than us.  And if you want them to do well on their SAT, well go on then.

Vote Perry for President and it won’t matter where you live – you can do all of the noodling you want.

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