Allow me to introduce you to Big Mean Kitty, Mrs. P.I.B.’s favorite toy.
Big Mean Kitty has withstood a lot of abuse over the years, and he’s beginning to look a little like a candidate for the dumpster. However, I can’t seem to bring myself to throw him out. And it’s not just because Mrs. P.I.B. loves him.
Quite frankly, I am scared of him.
You see, that pose in the picture – no human in our house positioned him that way. We just came home one day, and there he was, chillin’ by the back door.
That time we took a picture. But there have been many other times that, for purposes of evidence, we should have and didn’t.
Like the time he was doing the splits.
Or the time he was doing a perfect bridge in the hallway in front of Dimples’, the gymnast’s, bedroom.
It’s a little disturbing to turn the corner in the house and see this:
Now, I was never one to be afraid of clowns, and I thought the main character in the Chucky movies looked far too ridiculous to be even remotely scary.
But Big Mean Kitty is freakin’ me out.
I think he might be a little miffed at the arrival of Wonderbutt into the household. Wonderbutt doesn’t treat him as mildly as Mrs. P.I.B. , and the stuffing has started to come out of his joints (Big Mean Kitty’s – not Wonderbutt’s) as a result. The abuse may have propelled Big Mean Kitty over to the Dark Side. What used to seem to be amusing quirks of fate now seem to be his own menacing interpretations of “I’m going to murder you in your bed.”
I was in the middle of composing this little tribute when we took a break for dinner. When I finished dinner, I got up to take my plate to the kitchen, and there was Big Mean Kitty, who had been in the living room when we sat down. Wonderbutt, who usually likes to take toys and whack me in the leg with them while I’m eating, was sitting about a foot away, looking up at me like he was saying, “Did you just see that? He walked right over here and plopped himself down next to your foot.”
No wonder the dogs weren’t intimidated by a snake in the house the other day. They’ve seen worse things creeping around.