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Don’t Try this at Home

People often ask me, “How do you do it all, Mrs. Cap’n Firepants?” They cannot believe that I write a daily blog (actually, I have two), am such an awesome mother and wife, and manage to somewhat control the terrible canine twosome of Wonderbutt and Mrs. Pain in the Butt. The answer is simple.

I have super powers.

You may laugh, but haven’t you wondered why I have never revealed my true identity on this blog?

Superheroes like to blog, too.

Here is proof of my superhero-ness:

We got a mattress a month ago. It had an odor. The odor did not go away.

I called the mattress company today.

“Hello, Hapless Mattress Megastore. How can I help you?”

“My mattress still smells.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. Would you like it replaced?”


“How about this afternoon?”

“Really? That fast?”


“O.K. Well, I can’t tell you my name or address because I’m a superhero.”

“No problem. ”

Well, maybe the last two lines of our exchange did not go exactly like that. But the rest was pretty much verbatim. Almost.

So, they brought the new mattress (a newer model, even!), took away the old one, and I put my superhero sniffer to the test.

The smell was gone. The old smell. Now, our mattress just smells like gasoline instead of mildewed bathroom towels.

This is just one example of my superhero powers. I would give you more, but I don’t want to give my enemies too much information.

So, if you are having a hard time doing it all, give yourself a break. Not everyone can get their smelly mattress exchanged practically immediately for another one with a different but equally potent smell. It’s a gift.

I am trusting you with this super secret photo of me. Do not show this to my enemies.
photo credit: Anna Fischer via photo pin cc

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