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This Just In – Wonderbutt Chooses a Candidate

Our bulldog, Wonderbutt, did his research and carefully made his U.S. presidential election selection:


At Least He Doesn’t Text and Drive

Wonderbutt telling me I better buckle up.


So, here are a few very recent texts from our bulldog, Wonderbutt:

I refuse to buy him the new iPhone.

He can have my old one.

Now, Where Did I Put My Gas Mask?

So, as usual, our house is a construction zone, and our bulldog, Wonderbutt, has to have his nose in everything.  Based on his text messages to me, his interpretation of things is a bit different than ours…



He acts all macho, but you should have seen him jump the first time the “new dog farted”! 😉








I Refuse to Get Him the iPhone 5

A couple more correspondences between me and our texting bulldog, Wonderbutt:


Too much barking. Or too much pizza. It’s a toss-up.

O.K. You Can Call Me Maybe, But Do Not Send Me a Text at 2 AM From My Mother-In-Law

Quick summary for new readers:  Cap’n Firepants is my husband, our bulldog, Wonderbutt, knows how to text, and we are currently sleeping on a killer mattress.  No husbands or 82-year-old mother-in-laws were harmed in the creation of this blog post.

Firepants Household, Master Bedroom, 2 A.M.:

Cap’n Firepants – Are you awake?

Me – I better not be.

Cap’n Firepants – I got a text earlier and I just read it.

Me – O.K.

Cap’n Firepants – It’s from my mom.

Me – O.K.

Me, sitting up – Wait a second.  What?

Cap’n Firepants – I know, weird, huh?

Me – What did it say?

Cap’n Firepants – Call you later.

Me – Huh?

The Senior Mrs. Cap’n Firepants does not text.  Even more perplexing, her phone does not have texting capability.  She prefers “dumb phones” – the less buttons, the better.


My second conclusion:  We should text her back.  Let’s text, “Later is so formal.  Why don’t you Call Me Maybe?”  Or, better yet, we could leave her a voicemail with the song on it.

Cap’n Firepants was not amused by either conclusion.

Third conclusion:  Our mattress is conspiring with the cell phone to turn us against each other.

It’s working.

Another Reason Why I Don’t Need a Gun

I don’t think I ever gave a first, or second, or third reason for not owning a gun.  But, I’m pretty sure you don’t care.  Anyway, here is another text from Wonderbutt, the bulldog, explaining why I have nothing to fear – besides him.

Thank goodness Wonderbutt protects us from Evil Lizard Monsters.

Who R U Calling Fat?

Our bulldog, Wonderbutt, has become adept at texting.  He is not so adept at social skills.



Wonderbutt has started lifting weights to work on slimming down.

I Guess I Expect Too Much…

Our bulldog, Wonderbutt, who will be 2 in October, may be a texting genius, but there are still a few lessons left that he needs to learn.

If you are interested in reading other texts from Wonderbutt, click on the “Wonderbutt Texts” category on the left!

More Texts from Wonderbutt

Our 18 month old bulldog, Wonderbutt, is generally not allowed in what is known as “The Forbidden Section” of the house.  Lately, I have been granting him limited access.  He usually sniffs around for a few minutes, then plops down at my feet as I type on the computer.  Yesterday, he disappeared a few times while I was working.  Fortunately, he had his phone with him…

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