Incident Report

 

 

Incident report for Case#2011-50074

Incident Type – Damage to Property

Incident Date – 9/29/11

Address – Somewhere in the middle of San Antonio, TX

Victim(s) – Female, age 8 and Female, age It’s-None-of-Your-Business

Details – The two females entered their home at approximately 4:30 PM, and discovered the following destruction:

Latch Hook Rug Yarn Strewn Everywhere - the First Indication a Crime Had Taken Place

The Crime Scene Included the Hallway and 3 Bedrooms

The two suspects, AKA Wonderbutt and Mrs. Pain in the Butt, have past criminal histories of Destruction of Property (particularly when the tall, blonde one senses the approach of a thunderstorm).  It is believed that Mrs. P.I.B. actually does the breaking and entering, while the short over-weight one with an underbite does the destroying.  Both suspects should be considered toothed and dangerous. Detectives are also investigating the whereabouts of the possible Mastermind behind these nefarious acts – a suspect also known as Big Mean Kitty.

Big Mean Kitty's Version of Giving us the Finger

Anyone with information that will lead to the termination of these activities should contact The Wonderbutt Hotline at 555-0000.

Released 09/30/2011 at 5:00 PM