Incident Type – Damage to Property
Incident Date – 9/29/11
Address – Somewhere in the middle of San Antonio, TX
Victim(s) – Female, age 8 and Female, age It’s-None-of-Your-Business
Details – The two females entered their home at approximately 4:30 PM, and discovered the following destruction:
The two suspects, AKA Wonderbutt and Mrs. Pain in the Butt, have past criminal histories of Destruction of Property (particularly when the tall, blonde one senses the approach of a thunderstorm). It is believed that Mrs. P.I.B. actually does the breaking and entering, while the short over-weight one with an underbite does the destroying. Both suspects should be considered toothed and dangerous. Detectives are also investigating the whereabouts of the possible Mastermind behind these nefarious acts – a suspect also known as Big Mean Kitty.
Anyone with information that will lead to the termination of these activities should contact The Wonderbutt Hotline at 555-0000.
Released 09/30/2011 at 5:00 PM