I Bet No One Accuses Meryl Streep of Being Impatient
The other day I got a lovely teaching award, and had some very nice things said about me. Which is even better than the Oscars when you think about it – because no one says nice things about you when you win the Oscar (they just read your name off a teleprompter), AND you’re expected to then get up and say nice things about other people. That’s kind of a raw deal and almost makes me feel sorry for Meryl Streep – even though the whole time I was watching August: Osage County, I was thinking, “I bet she gets an Oscar for this.”
Anyway, I missed half of the nice things that were said about me because I obsessed over the first one, which had been said by a student. “She is very patient.”
Even better than receiving an award is being proven right – especially when your husband and daughter, who both declare that you need to work on your patience, happen to be standing there and witnessing the right-proving of the woman they repeatedly malign with accusations of impatience.
“Did you hear that?” I asked my family after I received the award.
“To be honest, I didn’t hear very much,” my husband said.
I was somewhat prepared for that answer. Before joining my family, I asked the speech-writer if I could have a copy of the speech.
“Look!” I pointed to the line about patience. “See what they said about me? I’m patient!”
They both shrugged. “I guess they don’t know you very well,” one of them said. I’m not sure who. Because steam blowing out of your ears tends to interfere with your understanding of the directionality of voices.
I did a bit of self-reflection to try to figure out how this could happen. I thought about the time I kept my cool with my daughter when she stayed in the shower for 30 minutes even after I told her to take a quick one because it was time for bed. I thought about the incident(s) when I stifled by huffs of exasperation when my husband changed his mind thirty times about the restaurant we were going to grace with our company for a rare date.
I thought about this exact moment when my family came to witness my award presentation and they didn’t listen to a word that was said.
I thought about the many times that I closed my eyes and counted to infinity when I really wanted to scream at the top of my lungs.
And it all became clear.
I deserve an Oscar way more than Meryl Streep.
Posted on February 9, 2014, in Annoyances, Family, Humor and tagged family, humor, Meryl Streep, Oscar, patience. Bookmark the permalink. 43 Comments.
Yep. As far as I’m concerned, anyone who cohabits with offspring without killing them deserves a medal.
A medal is not enough. A big chunk of cash might help, though.
…and anyway, she has too many
I think she only has 3. Poor thing.
You haven’t killed your family yet! I say you deserve like 10 Oscars! 😀
Is that an Oscar category now? If so, I expect a nomination at the very least.
witty! It’s funny how different people in our lives will attribute completely different attributes to us. I enjoyed your writing!
congrats and so funny )
congrats on your teaching award. I’m sure you deserve every bit of it. hubby got an award at work and they said something about him being patient with all his kids. whatever. I had to bite my tongue because we here at home know that is just not true. ;o)
Well, it is easier to be patient with them when you are at work and not actually in contact with them, I suppose 😉
Yeah, but Meryl has to deal with paparazzi.
I just get the mama-razzi.
Congratulations! I think if anyone ever says I’m patient I’ll just burst out laughing. You were very patient in not doing that.
I guess it’s all relative. Compared to my husband, I probably don’t seem very patient. Except when we drive. I am way more patient than he is with careless drivers.
Even though you have written this with your characteristic humour, I can feel a bit of hurt here. I think, just from knowing you via your blog, you are the the Saint of patience! I admire you so much. Oh yes and congratulations on the award! xxx
I am very patient when people actually do what I ask them to do. I guess that’s the difference between my students and my family…
Frame that speech that says you’re patient. You can hang it on the wall next to your Oscar shelf. And your Teacher award shelf.
My god, Meryl Streep doesn’t stand a chance!!
I am absolutely framing it – and highlighting the sentence about patience!
Congratulations on your teaching award. Smart move getting the speech in black and white. Your family clearly are the ones who do not know you very well…..
Yes, my family really doesn’t know the real me. Little do they suspect that the impatient, disorganized, and lazy woman they see at home is all an act I put on just for them.
That made me laugh. I think I probably drove my mum potty before I moved out (and quite possibly still do despite living a couple of hundred miles away). She deserves an Oscar too.
Congratulations. You can be the new Streep 😀
After watching Streep’s latest movie, I’m pretty sure I can totally top her acting. It doesn’t look all that hard.
Oh, that is so funny. I can’t win with my family either. It drives me mad! Congrats on your award.
Can I be included in your acceptance speech?
Absolutely! All blog supporters get top billing!
I feel your pain…this sounds a lot like my house.
And you DO deserve an oscar.
Oh no! So you have an ungrateful family, too? We should start a support group.
Dimples and the Cap’n clearly don’t know what they’re talking about. It takes the patience of a saint to look after Wonderbutt! 🙂
That is so true! Of course, he loves me the best, so it’s easy to be patient with him 😉
Way more…. 🙂
Thank you. I will be sure the Academy registers your vote!
Didn’t see you in tonight’s BAFTAs though…
I didn’t know that- congrats!! 🙂 dimples and cap’n should have paid attention a little better… And tell them I agree with your student.
Thanks for the congrats! If my family would stop testing my patience so much, they might see how much I have!
You still post a lot. You ARE patient!
I don’t know if once a week qualifies as a lot, but I will accept that I am patient without demanding any supporting evidence.
I am sooo impatient!! It gets me in trouble sometimes. But no one has ever, ever said that I’m patient. Must feel nice:)
I think all mothers deserve an award if they even think they are patient. Trying to keep a family happy and safe is a beary big job. Everyone only gets one Mom with Mom love and Mom kindness and Mom feelings. Moms have a special place in their heart for everyone in their family. Its ok if they do not have patience all the time because good Moms will say sorry when they sometimes lose their patience and explain why they lose it because they love their family more than anything.