I’m Changing the Name of this Blog to Coke Zero Because That Makes Just as Much Sense

I’ve been having trouble sleeping.  Ironically, I think the culprit is my anti-depressant.  The medicine that is supposed to make me less depressed is keeping me from sleeping which is making me more depressed.

I decided that I needed to cut back on my caffeine.  I like my Diet Coke, though.  So, I started chugging Caffeine-Free Diet Coke.  The problem is that most restaurants don’t carry that.  So, I was thrilled to see that several of my favorite restaurants carry Coke Zero.

Now, I’m not sure what possessed me to think that Coke Zero would be helpful.  For some reason, I got the insane idea that the “Zero” meant there would be zero calories, zero caffeine, and zero aspartame.  Healthy, right?

I did not connect the fact that I was completely wired at 2:00 AM every night to the fact that I was ingesting Coke Zero like it was water.

One day, I was getting a can from the machine at school, and someone passing said, “Need a caffeine hit for the afternoon?”

“No.  As a matter of fact, I’m trying to avoid caffeine,” I said.

“Oh, that doesn’t have caffeine?”

“Of course not.  That’s why it’s called Coke Zero.”

That got me thinking…

So, I consulted my friend Google later that afternoon.  Here is what I found regarding the comparative caffeine levels:

O.K.  Then why the heck is it called “Coke ZERO”?!!!!!!

Because there is zero sugar in it.

Of course, there is zero sugar in Diet Coke as well.  Apparently, the difference between the two is that the Coke Zero is supposed to taste more like Regular Coke due to a “different flavor base” from Diet Coke.  Hence, the “Zero”.  That makes sense, right?

From now on, just call me “Beyonce Zero”.  We’re practically the same except for every part of us that’s not the same.

Works for me.


Posted on February 2, 2014, in Depression, Humor and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 25 Comments.

  1. …But, I bet if you were performing at the Grammy’s, you’d wear more clothes.

    I’ve missed you.

  2. Yeah, I got snookered by that too. Too bad because I hate water or anything healthy.

  3. I also tried to do no caffeine, but also had a hard time finding the caffeine-free soda anywhere out and about. Instead, I enjoy my caffeine any time day or night, and take 1 sleeping pill daily. Works like a charm. :>

  4. “From now on, just call me “Beyonce Zero”. We’re practically the same except for every part of us that’s not the same.” – Made me laugh out loud! Too, too true.

  5. I used to order Kahlua & Coffee after dinner, then wonder why I couldn’t sleep. Duh … you’re drinking ……coffee….

  6. beyonce zero – sorry that your lack of sleep is making me laugh? and I hope you can break this vicious cycle. I *think* lack of sleep eventually leads to commitment in charter real?

  7. I think your stories of your anti-depressants are partially what made me not fill my Prozac prescription. Plus all the side effects it causes that I’m already dealing with on another pill…

    I’ve never understood Diet Coke and Coke Zero. They’re basically the same thing.

    Whatever you do, don’t take One A Day Women’s Multivitamin with Active Metabolism. It’s got a bunch of caffeine in it and makes almost every woman who’s taken it dizzy, nauseous, etc.

    • Hmm. I don’t think I’ve actually tried Prozac yet. But I have to say that it’s better that I don’t sleep than when I slept all of the time and refused to get up. I may be cranky, but at least I’m participating in life again.

  8. Beyonce you are right on track! I love the recent discovery that it is healthier for you to have full fat rather than diet as diet is packed full of nasty stuff!

    Think I’ll stick to wine!!

  9. LMAO – Beyonce Zero! Love it!!!

    As a recovering Diet Coke addict (I used to a minimum 3 bottles/cans a day… I’m 2 years sober – though I did relapse briefly last fall), I feel for you. It’s one of the toughest habits to kick. Now I drink seltzer, but I do so with a twinge of resentment for all who still indulge in the far superior DC.

    • Please don’t resent us. Just think about the superior health of your intestines that haven’t been eaten up by acid. Plus, it sounds so much classier to say, “seltzer” instead of diet coke. Unless you’re talking about alka-seltzer. In which case, you sound like grandpa.

  10. Well now you know?? If it makes you feel better I don’t drink Coke Zero or much caffeine at all afternoon on usually but seem to have an internal alarm clock that goes off around 1 am. Very frustrating, I know!!

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