I’m Changing the Name of this Blog to Coke Zero Because That Makes Just as Much Sense

I’ve been having trouble sleeping.  Ironically, I think the culprit is my anti-depressant.  The medicine that is supposed to make me less depressed is keeping me from sleeping which is making me more depressed.

I decided that I needed to cut back on my caffeine.  I like my Diet Coke, though.  So, I started chugging Caffeine-Free Diet Coke.  The problem is that most restaurants don’t carry that.  So, I was thrilled to see that several of my favorite restaurants carry Coke Zero.

Now, I’m not sure what possessed me to think that Coke Zero would be helpful.  For some reason, I got the insane idea that the “Zero” meant there would be zero calories, zero caffeine, and zero aspartame.  Healthy, right?

I did not connect the fact that I was completely wired at 2:00 AM every night to the fact that I was ingesting Coke Zero like it was water.

One day, I was getting a can from the machine at school, and someone passing said, “Need a caffeine hit for the afternoon?”

“No.  As a matter of fact, I’m trying to avoid caffeine,” I said.

“Oh, that doesn’t have caffeine?”

“Of course not.  That’s why it’s called Coke Zero.”

That got me thinking…

So, I consulted my friend Google later that afternoon.  Here is what I found regarding the comparative caffeine levels:

Source: foodwatch.com

O.K.  Then why the heck is it called “Coke ZERO”?!!!!!!

Because there is zero sugar in it.

Of course, there is zero sugar in Diet Coke as well.  Apparently, the difference between the two is that the Coke Zero is supposed to taste more like Regular Coke due to a “different flavor base” from Diet Coke.  Hence, the “Zero”.  That makes sense, right?

From now on, just call me “Beyonce Zero”.  We’re practically the same except for every part of us that’s not the same.

Works for me.