If Jeff Bezos was in Charge of the Affordable Health Care Website…

The other day, I got a 59 cent refund from Amazon.com.  I didn’t even ask for the refund.  They just sent it to me.  Something about a book I pre-ordered and the price changing after they sent it.

My experience with Amazon has been pretty good.  Other than the time they wrapped my nephew’s birthday gift in Happy Hannukah paper, I can’t say that I have any complaints.  I’ve got to admit, I’m pretty impressed with a bazillion dollar global company that makes it a point to give me back my 59 cents.

So, I was thinking about how life would be different if Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon, was brought in to fix the Affordable Health Care Website.  I mean, this man knows how to take care of a lot of people at once all over the globe.  Surely he could figure out how to manage health care for hundreds of thousands of people in one measly country.

The more I think about it, the more certain I am that Jeff Bezos is the man for the job.  So, here is my list of features that you would find on the Bezos version of the Affordable Health Care site.  I’ll let you decide if they would be improvements or not…

Once you sign up (which would, of course, be remarkably simple):

  • You would be welcomed, by NAME, every time you visit the site.
  • Relevant doctors would be recommended to you based on your recent search history.
  • Every doctor would have his or her own page, and there would be customer reviews.
  • You can search for doctors by price, customer review, or average appointment wait time.
  • Place procedures in your Shopping Cart, and wait for notification that the price has gone down so you can snatch up the better deal. (Hooray – now I can get that kidney transplant I’ve had my eye on for awhile!)
  • Choose a doctor, and then see the other physicians patients have visited after that one.  Does that proctologist have a disturbingly high number of patients who subsequently end up at a different proctology office?  Since that isn’t really the kind of experience you want to repeat, you might want to choose a different doctor…
  • People can bestow Medical Gift Cards upon you.  (I’ve been noticing you need that mole removed.  Here’s a gift card for that.)
  • You can put desired medical procedures on a Wish List, and people can gift them to you for your birthday.  (Thanks, Uncle Fred!  I’ve been needing that colonoscopy for awhile!)

I’m sure my brilliant readers can think of many other advantages to Amazon HealthCare.  You should definitely list them in the comments below.  Just like Amazon, I value customer feedback!

But don’t expect any refunds from me.


Posted on November 10, 2013, in Doctors, Humor, Politics and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 24 Comments.

  1. I don’t know if it’s funny because it’s funny, or funny because it’s so true.

  2. I immediately thought of amazon when the healthcare debacle started. It seems so simple to make things happen there. One-click-ordering! How much easier could it be??

  3. I don’t know about a healthcare website which functions exactly like Amazon, but I often wonder how things would be different if the people who made the laws were actually doctors, accountants and businesspeople instead of windbags with degrees in political science or law (if they even have a degree – as far as I know politics is the only professional career (except for professional sports) for which you don’t actually need a tertiary qualification and without a professional body to prescribe minimum standards and hold its members accountable…and then we wonder why governments mess up so often).

    • I agree. Specifically, I would like the people who make education policies to be teachers. But I guess it would be difficult to do both jobs at the same time.

      • YES! They don’t have to be teachers anymore, but they should at least have been in a classroom in the past five years. The curriculums should be written by practising teachers, not by university professors (my wife’s current further studies in special needs ed has just served to show me the guys in academia don’t have a clue what goes on in schools.)

        And while we’re on the topic, they should make it mandatory for principals to still teach at least one class a week, just so they don’t forget what their staff have to do every day.

  4. Love the idea of reviewing medical professionals. That has been a recent topic here, too…

    O for Oarsome post!

  5. haha, you could give health care gift cards.

  6. Brilliant, but also terrifying. It could happen. And they’d be collecting all kinds of information to sell to someone. Anyone.

  7. Very well said. If we took the politics out of healthcare, we’d get it right.

  8. The last two are hysterical. Actually it really is a great idea…

  9. i’ve missed reading your blog so much. happy i made a come back on this one. did you mention the little line at the bottom of the screen after you made your purchase that says “other people who have purchased a also purchased a….and a list of items they also purchased (liposuction, a face lift, etc.). that would be so helpful too, right?

  10. Love this! And oh, so true! 🙂

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