Maybe They Will Invite Me Back to do My Sarah Palin Impression
“It is hard to take responsibility for your own transitioning. What I’m trying to say is – I’m becoming a serial killer.”
~Tina Fey in “The Nerdist” podcast with Chris Hardwick
I always knew Tina and I have a lot in common. I mean, there she was, enjoying great success entertaining an audience on Saturday Night Live, and she decided to leave. Here I am, enjoying great success entertaining a class full of students, and I decide to leave. The similarities are uncanny.
And then, I hear her saying that she is going to become a serial killer – which is exactly what I’ve been contemplating! What are the odds?!!!
The sad truth is that I would be a failure at serial killing, primarily because I do not like to kill even the spiders that crawl in our house. Heck, even the snake that curled up at the bottom of the stairs in our hallway got a free pass from me.
What does appeal to me about being a serial killer at the moment is the part where you are able to become emotionally detached. As I pack up my belongings to move to a new school, I am trying hard to exclusively think of the process and not the people I am leaving. The people I’ve worked with for 13 years. The kids who I’ve known since they were in Kindergarten. Whose siblings I’ve known since they were in Kindergarten. The darn picture one of them drew of me that hangs on my wall, a picture that portrays me as unwrinkled, skinny, and frizzy-hair free. STOP THINKING ABOUT THOSE THINGS, I tell myself.
I try to think harder about the a/c that never works in my classroom, the mysterious person who, for the past three years, has weekly torn part of my bulletin board border off in the hallway, and the horrible cell phone reception that forces me to step out into the middle of the playground in order to ever make a call during my planning time.
If I were to become a serial killer, the bulletin board ripper offer would definitely be the first target. (I’m sure there is a Jack the Ripper joke in there somewhere. I’ll ask my bud, Tina, next time I talk to her…)
Posted on May 27, 2012, in Humor, Work and tagged Chris Hardwick, humor, serial killer, teaching, The Nerdist, Tina Fey, transition, work. Bookmark the permalink. 19 Comments.
The resemblance is uncanny! Does she have a bulldog, too?
I should certainly investigate that. That would be super weird, wouldn’t it?
Sorry. I worked at a daycare for a few years and leaving those kids was torture. I still occasionally think of them. Hopefully by the time summer break is over, you will be ready.
I’ll be fine once I unpack the last box. I think.
Change is good. It also can weigh your pockets down.
Weighing me down can’t be good. Lucky I don’t have any pockets.
I’ve settled for being a sociopath. It’s just as detached, but you don’t get icky stuff on your hands. 🙂
The icky stuff is definitely a deterrent.
I don’t like change even though sometimes I really look forward to it. It can be good sometimes and open up new doors. Sometimes being completely detached sounds nice, too, though.
I think we both have very similar feelings on this subject!
Transition is tough sometimes, but I am really hoping your new digs will be just what you’re hoping for.
It will be good, but it would be better if there was camel food there.
Funny you should mention it. I can help you with that.
That was sad! You probably wont have cell reception at the new school. I think its a law. It is a conspiracy by the government so that why u are in carpool line u cant multitask!
Silly law. Why shouldn’t you be allowed to run kids over while you are talking to pharmacy about the prescription they forgot to fill?
Good luck at your new school!
Bella and DiDi
Thanks!
Good luck with the move! I’m sure its sad to say goodbye after so long. Hoping that your next chapter has so much more in store for you!
It is bittersweet, but I am excited about all of the new challenges awaiting me (and my new students!).