Wonderbutt Ate the World (Most of It)

Before we get started, I would like to remind you that this is the last day of the WhatIMeant2Say Membership Drive.  Our goal was to get around 5.9 million new subscribers.  So far, we have 2.  I would like to thank jenn at http://insertwitticismshere.wordpress.com and an anonymous subscriber who writes great haikus, but prefers not to be tagged.  (See how sensitive I am to everyone’s needs?)  Your generosity is greatly appreciated!

Also, thanks to all of my 3 current subscribers, including my sister, Crash.  Your loyalty is both admirable and questionable, and somewhat haphazardly appreciated.

In other news, our bulldog, otherwise known as Wonderbutt, has finally achieved his goal of consuming almost the entire planet Earth.  I knew it would happen sometime, but was not expecting it quite this soon.  The problem is, I can’t quite figure out which portion got saved.  If you are reading this, I am assuming you are part of the lucky landmass I rescued.   If you are not reading this, then I am very sorry for not being quite as vigilant as I planned.

I am somewhat geographically and majorly map-amatically challenged.  But I am pretty certain that our planet has currently more than the 2 continents originally included on Wonderbutt’s Orbee ball.

These would be the post-Pangean continents of  Laurasia and Gondwanaland, I am assuming.  I can’t really identify them by their shape.  But the one below is the one I saved after Wonderbutt focused all of his chewing ability on the ball for 20 minutes straight.

Dogwanaland?

The other continent showed no signs of detaching, so I gave the ball back to Wonderbutt and made a mental note to check on him every five minutes.

I forgot.

About 15 minutes later, the other continent was gone.  Due to Wonderbutt’s incontinent chewing.

I won’t go into detail about what happened to that ill-fated section of terra firma…

The Big Red Planet

This particular Orbee ball, which received a 5 out of 5 on its “Chew-o-meter scale” according to the company literature, will, unfortunately, not be the recipient of the P.A.W. (Product Approved by Wonderbutt) award.  Although, I have to say that the planet without continents seems to be quite sturdy.

I’m sure there is a message in that somewhere.

Godzilla is no match for Wonderbutt. As far as I know, Godzilla never actually consumed an entire continent. (I don’t know what the deal is with Wonderbutt’s suddenly corrugated tongue.)

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Posted on May 11, 2012, in Blogging, Dogs, Humor, Wonderbutt and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 49 Comments.

  1. UGH! i miss reading my blogs for a few days and i miss your membership drive?????????????? sheesh. AND i’ve not had NPR to keep me informed for one week because of the damn membership drive??? i feel totally out of touch and confused. i have renewed my pledge to faithfully read all the blogs on my blogroll daily so as not to miss anything. amen.

    • I wish I could put all of the resources into my membership drive that NPR does, but I haven’t quite reached that level yet. Once I do, I will be sure to reward all of my loyal members with a t-shirt or a Wonderbutt DVD.

  2. Congratulations on the followers. I am guessing that it is me, Crash and El Guapo for the other three right? (although just between us, I think he might actually be one of the computers in the conspiracy of the computers trying to take over the world. How else could he be everywhere?)

    Wonderbutt’s chewing skills are amazing.

  3. That dog’s poop must be incredible!

    • It’s generally quite colorful, that’s for sure. I still haven’t gotten over the irony that I – a woman who can’t eat anything without her stomach rebelling – own a dog who can digest foam, plastic, and carpeting.

  4. ‘Incontinent chewing’ – I love it!

  5. Howl! Too funny! We love Wonderbutt. We survived the destruction. Phew!

    Bella and DiDi

  6. I think you’d get a bunch of subscriber if there was a tote bag with a logo at a higher level.
    And if htey bring even more subscribers, they should get a Wonderbutt-proof tote!
    (is there such a thing?)

  7. Miranda Gargasz

    Wow. I feel bad for those parts of Orbee Earth that are taking the “detour” to the trash that Wonderbutt is giving them. Wowzer.

  8. Australia wasn’t eaten (good thing really – I imagine major indigestion would have ensued!). The poodle has been known to demolish ‘indestructible dog toys’ in under five minutes, so Wonderbutt is not alone.

    Happy weekend and may the membership drive be a h u g e success!!!

  9. misswhiplash

    2 out of 5.9 million is not bad..it could have been three but i possibly missed that post when I could not quite see very well before my operation….sorry!
    As for your wonderful WB,,what a lad! Demolishing the planet in a way that even Hitler could not do…what a crazy dog… but he can come and demolish my part of the world anytime..he is such a character….Hope that you are all ok, even though your world has fallen apart..what’s happening with Mrs PIB

    • Mrs. P.I.B. has spent the last week cowering in our bedroom due to thunderstorms. Instead of chewing, she takes out her frustrations by panting and pacing back and forth.

      • misswhiplash

        we have them all trying to hide in the most obscure inaccessible corners….there must be thunderstorms all over the world all rumbling around together…which sounds like my Guido dogs stomach

  10. Hmm, the way I’ve felt lately I must live in the part that might (or might not) be seen again a few days from now…

  11. You never fail to make me laugh! Tall person loved the reference to the post-Pangean continents of Laurasia and Gondwanaland 🙂 The makers of chew toys need to immediately hire Wonderbutt as their chief product tester. I really don’t know how they avoid lawsuits with their clearly innaccurate “Chew-o-meter scale” 🙂

    • I must admit that I had to do a bit of Google research for the post-Pangea reference. I’m glad my not-so-hard work paid off, though! I like the idea of hiring Wonderbutt out to test dog toys. We may have to pursue that this summer.

  12. There’s no such thing as a Wonderbutt-proof toy, is there? And he looks so innocent.

    • I think it’s just a matter of degrees with him. If he isn’t able to consume the whole thing in one gulp, then it is probably safe for every other dog in the universe.

  13. We must continue the search for a Wonderbutt-proof toy. I’m not sure it exists, though.

  14. Hey what about me??? 🙂 I am a new to you LOYAL reader and sometimes commenter… ( Not wise enough to blog,YET) Hello; T-town Alabama thinks you Rock.. . Now go and have a good day!!!

  15. OOPS W.B. sounds like fun… (needs to run for office of something or the other) 🙂

  16. Wow! Wait a second.. if he ate a continent that means… yuk.. we know where they will be coming out soon! What a mess that will be in their lives….. a pretty crappy situation for them……
    In mirth,
    the howling collies and chuck 🙂

  17. Cracking up at the Product Approved by Wonderbutt! Hilarious!

  18. Somehow I just knew he’d be the death of us all… Farewell cruel world!! Ahem… oh sorry… I’m on one of the surviving continents, I guess. 🙂
    Back to the drawing board for some hardcore chew toys!

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